random thoughts and thoroughbred selections
"All life is 6-5 against" - Damon Runyon
Friday, January 01, 1999

912PM, and it's still Monday

Al,

Cousin Oliver? Oh man. Sadly, I see the resemblance. About forty pounds ago, they used to say I looked like Anthony Edwards from “ER.” Did I mention I used to shave my head at the time? I'm NOT bald, nor am I seriously balding.

Thank god. I looked better all skinny and bald than I did all chubby and bald.

I've actually given the whole idea of a blogger making it big (or, going from half to full pint) in a major poker event some thought. Well, no I haven't, but for the purposes of this discussion we'll have to suspend disbelief a little bit. While I would love to see a blogger hit big, my gut feeling tells me that it's going to be difficult, as most of us aren't exactly playing above nickels and dimes here. And yes, I think Felicia dodging the cameras at an ESPN Razz final table, and acting sketchy in the close-up interview would be fantastically entertaining.

I think it'd be amazing if it were to happen, and I can't imagine how “legitimate” our little community would become with a well placed plug of just one of the key sites in our ring.

Frankly though, I think both situations fall into the “cold day in hell” scenario. I've been a Lions fan long enough to know that if I never get my hopes up high enough, I'll never be disappointed. Yeah, it's a cop-out, but I'm still choosing “C” for that question (aka “none of the above”). I'm racking my brains here for a minute... what was the last Philly major sports championship? And no, Arena Football doesn't count.

By the way, have you seen the Circuit City commercial that features either the guy who played Parker Lewis' best friend, or the guy who played the horny brother in “Just One of the Guys?” Well, which guy is it? Also, we're five minutes into the Monday Night game, and Chris Brown (my Chris Brown) has just rushed for 78 yards and two touchdowns. God bless America.

I actually played football briefly as a kid. It was fifth grade rec league, and I was absolutely tiny. To this day, my dad believes I faked my way out of the first half of a game when I claimed a neck injury in a pregame collision. But that fucker hit me hard. No, not my dad. Some other kid. It's alright though, I was worthless out there. But I wasn't really that bad at sports all things considered.

Not to bite too much off of ESPN's Sports Guy, but what if they were to make a “SportsCentury” episode of your life? Or, if you're uncoordinated and just played with dolls or something, use the “E! True Hollywood Story” as your benchmark. Either way, is there a centerpiece highlight of your life that you wish you had on tape that you'd build your episode around?

If we're talking sports, I'm going with a game of “21,” the three-man basketball game where one dude shoots a free throw, the other two rebound, and try to score one-on-two. It was one random summer Saturday, and a friend and I met some random dude shooting baskets and invited him to play. I was automatic. I had a wicked pull-up jumper with a high release, and actually had some rudimentary post moves that were working for me too. Swish, bank shot, layup and all of a sudden it's game point for me. I get the ball at the top of the key, and these guys are just up on me making sure I don't get anything easy. So they force me back a couple of steps, and back a few more. I'm at half court before they give me a step. I take a quick dribble and pull up, uttering “GAME” as the ball is leaving my hand.

Swish. Game over.

I rule sometimes, I swear.


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