CNN.com - Microsoft targets Google - Sep. 19, 2003: "But he said better personalization is one way to improve searching. For example, if MSN knows that the computer user searching for 'pizza' lives in a specific ZIP code, it can deliver results of pizza places in that ZIP code.
Google and Yahoo representatives refused to comment on the potential search competition from Microsoft.
Beyond satisfying consumers, better searching can be lucrative.
Many companies pay or bid for inclusion in search sites' listings -- typically in a cordoned-off section for advertisers -- based on the key words the user enters. For example, a company that sells shoes might pay to be listed on queries for 'Manolo Blahnik sandals.'
Such paid listings are expected to generate more than $2 billion in revenue for search sites in 2003, Forrester Research's Li said. "

Two fundamental problems here. First, one of the HUGE reasons that Google is as successful as it is, is that it doesn't assume. Typing "pizza" into a search engine absolutely positively should not give you automatic results to call pizza joints in the neighborhood. What if it's pizza recipes you're looking for? That just smacks of money grubbing. Secondly, speaking of money grubbing, paid inclusion on search engines has only effectively been managed by one company in a manner that's pleasing aesthetically. That's Google again.

Companies need to understand that with Google, less is truly more, and to clog up the works with advertising is going to turn more people off than getting them connected.

BOYGENIUS ANSWERS QUESTIONS NOT ASKED OF HIM: "Question: My fiancée and I are both 22, young and in love, and always up for fun in the sack. We have the greatest sex life in the world, where we both are willing to try anything new and exciting. Recently, while intimate, we stumbled upon the idea of bringing another couple into the mix, just for a night of, well, I guess fun. My question is any possible ramifications? We know which couples we would invite and feel they would accept the offer. So, my concern is not really the typical “dangers” of intimacy with “unknown” people. My biggest concern is what, if any, emotional fallout could occur afterward? We both feel ready. I don’t believe I would be any different, mostly because the rule we made was “anything goes but actual vaginal intercourse” for both men involved. Any help would be appreciated before we take the leap. Thank you.
— Confused and excited

Answer: Once upon a time there was a woman named Pandora who became curious about a box."

(Of course, this is where my answer starts to differ from the one "Dr. Cooper," if that is in fact his real name, gives)

"And you, my friend, are curious about another box. Hell, you're 22, you've got your whole life in front of you, and you're engaged to be married already? Good god man! Instead of learning how to pick up married women in a bar, you're out choosing china patterns, and ruminating on a Saturday afternoon about why Teflon coated cookware is a good bet to register for instead of traditional stainless steel pots and pans.

Look, what you're confused about isn't what sort of emotional fallout there's going to be. It's one, or both, of two things. First, what happens if you see your soon-to-be-bethrothed worshipping another cock and cooing and purring to an extent you've never heard? Second, what happens when you feel another woman's lips wrapped around your shaft? What if it's better? What if it makes you want this variety more and more?

Well, then I guess there's also that third question of what to do in a foursome when there's another dick involved. If you touch it, does it make you gay? OK, OK, if you don't touch it, but just look at it, does that make you gay? Or what about this? If you don't touch it, and don't stare at it, but just catch a couple of sidelong glances, does that make you gay?

These, my friend, are your conundrums.

Here's what I'd suggest. Get a hooker, and split the cost with your fiancee. Or buy her a few lap dances at a strip club. I mean, getting more people involved is just "guy code" for "want to see my girl on girl action," right? So take the car for a test drive before you buy it. Make sure your girl is as warm to this idea as you seem to be. Oh yeah, and with this test drive, you can evaluate your protective/jealousy instinct, and see if this orgy is going to come off as well as you hope.

I look forward to your letter to Penthouse. Let me know in which issue it will appear.

Best wishes,

BG

The Future Is Now - Who needs AOL? Time Warner is already the media company of tomorrow. By David S. Bennahum: "AOL's impending demise—that doomed division, clinging to an aging network of dial-up modems, is about to become yet another case study on how technology leaders of one era rarely become leaders of the next"

Damn right. AOL is "internet for dummies." People have already started to realize they can get everything AOL provides from other places and programs online, and know that using the clunky AOL front-end is, for the most part, more trouble than it's worth.

I can't wait to hear the death knell of AOL for real...

Who doesn't love lists?

From someplace called Professor Barnhardt's Journal, a collection of some lists of the top 10 TV shows of all time.

As an avid TV watcher, I'll play. How about tweaking it to say "Top Ten TV Shows Currently in Production?"

- in no order -

1) The OC - Fucking great trash TV. Makes me yearn for the early days of Melrose Place and 90210. That was "event TV" back in my college days. This is just as good, and full of enough teen angst playing off rich bitch sensibilities to get your pulse racing on a Tuesday night. Oh, and they aren't afraid to show the girls in their underwear. But that's just gravy.

2) The Daily Show - Craig Kilborn wasn't smart enough to do this show justice. Jon Stewart is brilliant at skewing a slightly liberal (OK, probably more than slightly) eye at some of the bullshit the "legitimate" news media is trying to force feed us. Also, for a comedy program, getting guests like Madeline Albright doesn't hurt for credibility's sake. I do miss some of the old correspondents though, like Mo Rocca and Steve Carell (he's gone, right?)

3) The Price Is Right - This show just feels like home to me. And I've gotten pretty decent at bidding on the showcases. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play (clap, clapclapclap) today!

4) The Simpsons - Someone on the page linked at top mentioned that there's a sentiment that the Simpsons "isn't as good" as it used to be, but I wouldn't agree with that. You still get some great skewering of society along with comic book humor. In two or three generations, collegians will be writing theses (is that the right plural?) on the way this show reflected society. Great stuff, even now. Except when they have rock bands do guest voices ("Flaming Moe's" episode excepted).

5) South Park - Anyone who claims this show isn't suitable for viewing due to the language and subject matter is an idiot. It's apparent if you've watched an episode all the way through that Matt Stone and Trey Parker have a huge heart and just want people to think about what they're doing before overreacting. Episodes about kidnapping (parents hear that parents are in fact most responsible for kidnapping, so for the good of their kids they ship them away) and new-age medicine (Cherokee hair tampon anyone?) were so spot on brilliant that it's amazing these guys don't win awards.

6) Bernie Mac - Normal kids, a father figure that isn't afraid to threaten violence, and the best use of asides and narration I've ever seen on TV. Well produced. Well acted. Well written. Well? Just watch it.

7) Curb Your Enthusiasm - I'd like to be at the same dinner party with Larry David, I think it'd be bizarrely interesting. At the same time, I don't think I'd want him as a friend or acquaintance. I really don't think he's that fundamentally different from the Larry we see week to week on this savagely funny show. This is the "George Costanza Show," but Larry David is a billion times more uncomfortably funny than Costanza ever was. Did I also mention that this show is largely improvised? That's amazing.

8) NFL Matchup - There is nothing cooler than watching Jaworski break down a QB's progression against a zone blitz by exploiting the TE cross matchup against an overmatched 280 lb rush end. Did that make sense? If not, this show should be required viewing. The fake infighting between Jaws and Merril Hoge aside, this is great TV.

9) NFL Primetime - 90 minutes of all the highlights of the day's NFL action, with the best highlight man in the biz Chris Berman at the helm. Tom Jackson has really grown into a go-to guy for analysis over the last ten years. The best in football in one easy package.

10) Nigella Bites - Nigella Lawson. Mmmmm... She is my 2003 Bob Ross. Sound sick? Well, that's not what I mean. Bob Ross was that white guy with the huge afro who painted "happy little trees." He had the most soothing voice on TV. Now? It's Nigella Lawson. There's not a more relaxing show to watch on TV. Leisurely pace? Check. Soothing voice? Check. Non-complex subject matter? Check. Big tits? Check and check.

BLOGGER

Yep, illustrious Blogger, provider of that which is free for my personal web use.

I'm really freaking irritated at the downtime I've been experiencing on the website. Half the time I want to visit my own page lately, I get the "can't find it" error.

Of course, I could simply buy a domain and point my blogging towards a site that I own on webspace upon which I can more reliably depend... but that's asking a bit much methinks.

The Caribbean: Mango Chutney

Two questions:

1) What exactly is Mango Chutney?
2) How long is it going to stay good sitting in a jar on the shelf in the pantry since September 2000?

At this point, it's more a relic of my trip to Jamaica than it is a tangible condiment/spice(?)/meat-preparation-additive.

If I were marooned on an abandoned island that already provided me shelter and supplies, and I could only grab five things to put into my backpack before jumping overboard, here's what I'd take:

(no electricity, cell phone signals, limiting myself to things I could grab from my room and take along - and also assuming supplies include things to make fire and cut wood, etc)

1) "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by John Irving - I could read this book another dozen times through and still be as entertained as the first time.

2) "Miles" an autobiography by Miles Davis - Another amazing book. Miles, to me, is one of the greatest artists the 20th century featured.

3) A handful of socks. I'm assuming the whole "just the clothes on your back" theory plays into things here. Socks are versatile. Not only is it important to always have a dry/clean pair, but you can also use them to carry or protect things as well.

4) One good chef's knife. I cook, and need a great knife to get anything done in the kitchen.

5) Proust's "A Remembrance of Things Past." Hell, it would probably take me a few years to read that book (three volumes, thousands of pages) all the way through.

I work in a really small office. Up until this week there were only four of us working there. We've added two this week, including one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen.

Thank god she's married, because when a beautiful random girl becomes a beautiful friendly co-worker, in my mind she goes from being out of my league to that being debateable.

Well, at least the scenery got better for me from 9-5.

THE POOL HOUSE

I love good trash TV. Always have, always will. The link above is for the "official blog" of the new Fox show "The O.C." In other words, "pretty people with lots of money and many love triangles."

Now, the show is executive produced by Doug Liman, the guy behind the camera for "Swingers," as well as the movie "Go." That alone meant I should check it out. And it's well worth the hour a week investment of my time. Check it out if you haven't yet. It's good stuff.

That's My Dog...

Thought I'd post a picture of my dog Frye. He's an almost four year old Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and this was his Christmas picture (yeah, yeah) from last year.

As you can tell, he's not a real big dog. About 25 lbs (that's 344 kg to my Canadian readership - or close, I can't be bothered to do the math), and only about 18" (642 m) off the ground.

My dog is exceptionally talented. He can catch a frisbee, which is a helluva trick for a dog of his size, and also knows the best trick of all, "Put away your toys." He knows where they belong, and cleans up after himself. Not too bad.

Frye will be four at the end of December. I've had him since he was probably about four weeks old. He's a puppy mill dog from a pet store, and I know that's not how you're supposed to buy dogs, but in this case it's worked out very well. He's a great companion, and wants nothing more than to be by my side.