Unbelievable...

In 45 minutes, I ran through $2250 in chips (two $10 buy-ins) playing four handed Texas Hold 'Em. Both times I was holding not only three-of-a-kind, but the top 3OK on the board. Both times I went all in to get beaten by flushes on the river. I have never taken beats this bad in my life. I am so freaking irritated right now, I can't even deal. Grrr...

Like the new look?

From the Detroit Lions Blog, linked at left:

Some interesting news from Tom Kowalski, beat reporter on the Lions.

"pinner practiced today, but it was pretty low-key, just with scout teams ... early in practice, shaun rogers welcomed him to the league by decleating him with a hit ... later, wali rainer hammered him as he came through the hole ... pinner didn't seem affected by either shot, he just bounced of rainer and kept running ... mooch said he'll probably take the entire three weeks before activating pinner ... as far as how pinner looked, he was obviously rusty and they're working him back in slowly ... he seems to run very low to the ground, which is a good thing ...(he's) Still rusty ... the guy hasn't played football for 10 months so he's a little rusty ... speed was never his strong suit, but it's not like he's slow ... even with the little bit that i saw on wednesday, i was impressed with his running style ... he naturally runs low to the ground and he doesn't give you much to hit ... i'd be surprised if pinner wasn't the starter by the end of the season ... "

My take: If I have one hope for the Lions it's that Artose Pinner comes in and posts huge games, flashing amazing potential in the remainder of this season with the Lions. That being said, the kid is rusty. He won't be activated for a few weeks, and even then will probably be brought on slowly. While I think the chances that he'll see 20+ carries in a game are strong this season, I would wager we might have a maximum of four games at the tail end of this season where he'll be able to get them.

It's a really big "IF." Sadly, the RB position is one of need, but maybe not even our biggest need. I really would like to see Pinner show he's a starting caliber NFL back, and he can be teamed with Cobourne and Bryson next season, with Pinner the undisputed starter. That's probably wishing on stars though.

hillbilly: Is our D-line better without porcher?
TomKowalski: The answer ... age has caught up to porcher ... he doesn't have the same burst he used to have ... so the answer is, yes ...

Say goodbye to Robert Porcher. We can free up $1.25M if we cut him next year, and I'll look for that to happen. He's been great to and for the city of Detroit, but the man needs to step aside and let Kalimba, Hall, and Redding wreak havoc at DE.

"you're going to kill me for this, but they still didn't use the surprise on sunday ... they practiced it again last week, but didn't use it ... A new surprise ... there's a new surprise for the bears ... can't tell you what it is, but you're going to like it ... the old surprise is still lurking, but i'm not sure we'll ever see it ... the new surprise is almost a certainty ..."

I'm anxious to see what this might be. I'm guessing it might be one of a few things. Az Hakim has a decent arm, maybe they'll run a reverse and let him air one out. Maybe the surprise is something really crazy like Boss Bailey lined up in the backfield. As a pass catcher, of course. That would be nuts, but fun. Maybe some sort of wacky formation that puts Hakim in at QB, Joey split wide, and they'll run the option. Whatever it is, I'm anxious to see it.

"Who will be cut? if the lions pick up an offensive lineman (probably blaise) and then activate pinner and elliss, they'll have to cut three players over the next couple of weeks ... this is just a guess, but i don't think they're going to be as obvious as you think ... the lions like swinton and want to get him more involved with the offense ... also, i'm not convinced they'll cut cobourne when pinner comes back ... it's possible, but i think they'll try to cut elsewhere ... let the guessing games begin ... " (and he mentions Pritchett, Swinton, Cobourne and Olandis Gary are all unlikely to be cut)

OK, if it's not any of the aforementioned guys, and they have to cut three, I'll take a stab at guessing. First off, it can't be a guy who is going to give the Lions a significant cap hit, especially not a "vested veteran," like a Bill Schroeder. Schroeder, if claimed by another team, would have an immediately accelerated cap hit which would be crippling.

Likely candidates include Donte Curry, Stephen Trejo, Corey Harris (he's gone in 2004 anyway), Shawn Jefferson, Wali Rainer (too much cash for a backup MLB), and maybe Ty Detmer.

wellbehaved: Why is Joey so quick to go to his "checkdowns"! Any chance of him rolling out of pocket and throw more passes , or is that out of question? Or is it that the recievers aren't getting open?
TomKowalski: My feeling ... i don't think harrington has much confidence in his receivers so when he steps to the line and sees a particular defense, i think he's already convinced himself that the downfield stuff won't work ... that's why he goes to his checkdowns so quickly ... he wasn't like that when rogers was healthy -- he was more apt to give the deeper play a shot ... if rogers didn't get open, he showed the ability to catch it in traffic ... the other receivers haven't shown either of those abilities ...

That was my guess. He looks to the three yard out because he has no faith that Schroeder or Hakim is going to create room in the defense. He's playing like a QB resigned to knowing he'll just have to "take what's there." It's distressing, but I blame the wideouts too.

I've Decided...

I want Outkast's "So Fresh, So Clean" as my theme song. Sorry Bob.

I just had a brilliant idea for a TV show.

I call it "The Guys."

You take teams of four guys. Brothers, buddies, co-workers, whatever. They have to go "way back" with each other (no ringers). Maybe you've got a dozen teams from across the country. Doctors, Lawyers, Firefighters, Police Officers, former athletes, you name it.

And they compete against each other in "guy" events. And every three days the team with the lowest score goes home. Maybe in the first three days they compete in flag football and trivia challenge. The next round would be half court basketball and poker. After that, paintball wars and Madden football on the Playstation. Then say finish up with scramble format golf and NHL Hockey on the Playstation. Whatever.

Cover the competitions, mic the competitors, film the guys at play, at rest, at strip clubs, getting loaded at sports bars, getting crap from their wives, all that.

And at the end you crown the group of long time buddies as "Kings of the Guys," send them for a first class Vegas Weekend (with designated gambling money, designated stripper money, all has to be put in play - film this too, of course), while remodeling each of their basements into "Guy Palaces," with pool tables, bars, multiple TVs, etc.

Tell me I'm not a genius.

BY THE NUMBERS
Personal Statistics And Records

PERSONAL:
Age: 29
In Days: 10,722
In Hours: 257,328 (as of 10PM 11/5/03)
Actual Age: 29.375
Height: 5'10"
In Inches: 70"
Weight: 205 lbs
Weight Gained Since College: 35 lbs
ACT Score: 29
SAT Score: 1060 (when I was 13 years old)
Serious Illnesses Defeated: 1 (Spinal Meningitis)
Emergency Room Visits: 2 (est)
Bones Broken: 0 (excluding nose)
Average Rising Time in the Morning: 6:45 AM
Average Time Asleep: 10:30 PM
Total Average GPA, Jr High, HS, College: 3.54 (est)
Stage Roles: 8
TV Commercials Starred In: 1
Musicals I Was In: 2
Musicals I Was In Where I Had The Only Non-Singing Role: 2

TRAVEL:
Theme Parks Visited: 8
Coasters Ridden: 15 (est)
Times Thrown Up, Theme Park: 3
Foreign Countries Visited: 2

SPORTS:
Pro Sporting Events Attended: 18 (est)
Best Golf Score, 18 Holes: 98
Closest to a Hole-In-One: 12"
Seasons of Little League Baseball Played: 8 (est)
Homeruns, Career: 1

High School Dating (Utah):
High School Girlfriends: 1
Serious HS Crushes: 3
Proms Ending in Disaster, or by 11PM: 2
Different Dates Taken to HS Dances: 7
Dates That I "Made Out" With: 1
Girls In Utah That I Knew That Weren't Virgins: 1
Dates With That Girl: 0
Alcohol/Drugs Consumed in Utah (personal): 0
Consumed by Friends: 0
Nude or Partially Nude Girls Seen Live, Utah: 0
People I Knew In Utah That Were Having Sex: 1

WARDROBE:
Approximate Percentage of Casual Wardrobe Purchased at Old Navy: 33%
Approximate Percentage of Golf Shirts Featuring Nike Logo: 80%
Percentage of Wearable Underwear Without Holes in the Crotch, Current: 25%
Football Jerseys Owned: 6
Most Expensive: $240
Least Expensive: $14

FOOD:
Different Types of Land Animal Eaten: 11 (est)
Sea Creatures: Too Many To Count
Most Expensive Wine I've Ever Drank: $75/bottle
Most Expensive Champagne Ever Drank: $115/bottle
Most Expensive Entree Ordered, Restaurant: $54
Most Courses Cooked From Scratch, Solo, For One Meal: 7
Years Since My Last Hot Dog: 15
Years Since Accepting My Last "All You Can Eat Buffet Mano-y-Mano Challenge": 14
Biggest Pizza Shared With One Other, Finished At One Sitting: 20"
Years Since I've Bought Tomato Sauce (Spaghetti Sauce) in the Jar or Can: 3 (est)

CAREER:
Jobs Held, Post College: 5
Yearly High: $80,000
Average Earnings, Career: $55,000/year
Total Jobs Held, Life: 12
Longest Shift Ever Worked: 20 hours
Average Job Tenure, Career Jobs: 1.5 years
Biggest Single Payperiod Paycheck: $22,000 Net
Estimated Hourly Wage For That Month: $327/hr

More Lists...

Top Fives:

Five From The Past I'd Like To Bump Into:
1. Dr. (Presumably, at this point) Melody
2. AO the Restaurant Hostess
3. CS from the Bank, who I dumped for my Ex
4. KR from Utah, who got HOT after HS
5. NF, I really liked her, dicked around too much, and blew it. An apology would be nice.

Five I Wouldn't:
1. Camillia, Freshman Fling, I'm an asshole
2. The Ex-Wife, obviously
3. JK, because everything with her was just "going through the motions."
4. MH, my first girlfriend, not so nice post-breakup
5. JB, ex-girlfriend, fake as hell and sleeps with anyone

Five Lousy Dates, Each Summed in Five Words:
1. (My Prom) "Shy Cara, home by eleven."
2. (Other Prom) "Kissed brutally by fat girl."
3. (Homecoming) "Car got flooded, Alison boring."
4. (Semi-Formal) "Girlfriend bitchy, we didn't speak."
5. (Halloween Dance) "Why no kiss? Oh, Utah..."

Five Girlfriends, Each Summed in Five Words:
1. (Ex-Wife) "Took my stuff, left bills."
2. (AO) "Surreal sex, but painful conversation."
3. (JK) "Want to fuck? Sure, whatever..."
4. (MH) "Brilliant girl, not a looker."
5. (JB) "Which roommate DIDN'T you fuck?"

Five Things Liver Problems Force Me To Miss:
1. Southern Comfort Manhattans, Sweet
2. Single Malt Scotch, on the rocks
3. Bombay Sapphire Gin
4. Margaritas on the rocks
5. Stoli Pepper Vodka Tonics

Five I'd Like to Sucker Punch
1. M, my manager at McDonald's when I was 16
2. JR, my restaurant manager at the steakhouse
3. AC, my neighbor, first Utah friend, first and longest Utah enemy
4. MP, a skinny throwback 50's style punk asshole
5. The first dude my Ex-Wife started cheating with

Five Great Family Traditions:
1. 6AM Birthday Awakenings
2. No cake for me, turtle ice cream pie
3. Pepperoni Rolls
4. Cracking on each other at dinner
5. Running up huge restaurant bills

Five Friends I'll Probably Never Have to Doubt:
1. Janna
2. Steve & Jen
3. Nate
4. Mitloff
5. Amy

Anna's lists of five

Thought I'd take a crack at these lists myself...

Take Five

Five Things I'd rather be doing right now:
1) Sleeping
2) Reading
3) Playing Poker
4) Golfing, by myself, on a slightly dewey 6AM late June Saturday
5) Making a seven course Italian meal for twelve while drinking a Barolo

Five things I'd like to see built in this town:
1) A Lebanese/Arabic restaurant
2) A pizza joint that delivers college town priced pizzas
3) An Italian grocery/deli/lunch counter
4) One more bridge (I'll second that - there are two places to cross the river North/South, and they are nearly 20 miles apart)
5) A Poker room

Five people I'd like to have coffee with:
1) Anna, certainly
2) Jazz legend Max Roach
3) Joe Dumars
4) This girl Laurie who I met briefly yesterday, that I'm nearly guaranteed to see again soon.
5) Brian Greene, whose Nova special (last week and this on PBS) on "String Theory" physics really intrigued me.

Five Restaurants I really miss:
1) The Sultan (East Lansing's, and possibly Michigan's, finest Lebanese cuisine)
2) Big Daddy's Parthenon (only if Mario's buying)
3) La Bistecca Italian Chophouse
4) Any and every legit bagel joint in the Metro Detroit area - Supermarket bagels suck nuts
5) All those little hole-in-the-wall pizza joints that litter the streets of Manhattan

Five words I love:
1) Ubiquitous
2) Ellipse
3) Absolutely
4) Veal
5) Barolo

I finished off two books over the weekend. The first was "The Natural," a book about the Clinton presidency by "Primary Colors" author Joe Klein. My liberal bias tells me that it was a pretty even-handed treatment of the Clinton years. Klein didn't seem to pull punches in regards to Clinton's suspect decision-making in his personal life, and painted his White House in often less than flattering ways.

That being said, I think it might surprise some conservative pundits that Clinton's White House did actually accomplish goals, mainly economic, both at home and abroad, and helped to spawn what Klein refers to as the "Third Way," or an economy of the world, as free of restrictions on trade as possible. It was only 140 pages or so, and made for an enjoyably quick read.

The other book I read was titled "The Comedy Writer," and was written by Peter Farrelly (of "There's Something About Mary's" Farrelly Brothers). I didn't take anything deep and meaningful from Farrelly's story of a writer trying to gain a foothold in 1990's Hollywood, but to be fair, I wasn't really trying either. I breezed through the 360 pages in two sessions, Saturday night and Sunday morning (was finished by 9AM). I did enjoy the book, and recommend it for light reading, or if you've enjoyed the Farrelly Brothers' work to this point.

OBSERVATIONS ON WORK TO THIS POINT

It's as if I work at a YMCA. The automotive supplier at which I'm stationed has an ancillary building next to their main engineering facility called "The People Center." I found out it was constructed about ten years ago after the founder of the company (that was assimilated by the present day ownership) had a heart attack and came around to realize that physical fitness benefitted all his employees. Inside this "TPC," you'll not only find HR and some conference rooms, but also a full health club FREE for employees (and cheap or maybe free for suppliers onsite like myself). Fully equipped, you'll find:
Basketball courts, six lane lap pool (indoors), fitness room with machines, racquetball courts, tennis courts, aerobics room, children's fitness room, toddler's fitness room, full lockerrooms, full compliment of balls, mats, steps, yoga equipment

Way cool. I came in an hour early and shot baskets. I hadn't picked up a ball in ages, so it felt awkward, but good at the same time.

- The TPC is kind of a curious place. I say this mainly because there's a lack of understanding, and indeed indoctrination, on my part to this supplier's method of instilling corporate culture. What I'm talking about in particular here is corporate propaganda that's about as subtle as a jackhammer.

I asked today, and found out the old owner purchased this propaganda, which was in the style of the old WWII posters (see: "Uncle Sam, I Want You") that warned against wasting food, keeping lights on at night if you lived on the coast, or blabbing inadvertant national security secrets to the Commies. Well, these are all over the building, but instead of Rosie the Riveter's encouragement to have everyone help carry the load, many of these posters (all huge - 3'x5' or so - all in that 1940's style) carry warnings such as:
"A leak in a gas tank can stop a machine. A leak in our company can stop the whole company." (paraphrased)
"Tear the false face off rumors. Rumors disguised as fact are troublemakers. Rumors ruin men and business." (verbatim)
There's one I'll see every time I walk out of my cube that admonishes me to "SMILE," because that helps me do my business more pleasantly. There is something jarring in the Orwellian simplicity of some brainwashed kewpie face with an egregiously forced smile beckoning me to join her in some sort of corporate cloud of bliss.

I'm not really sure what or how to think about these images and messages. Fundamentally, are they any more ill-conceived than the "Successories" corporate excellence series many managers seem to have copped out to and hung in their cubes? I guess what strikes me as the fundamental difference between these posteers and the ubiquitous "Successories" pictures would be that these messages are pretty split down the middle between "Do's" and "Don'ts."

It's almost like a latter-day "Goofus and Gallant," but Goofus' fuckup may not only cost him his job, it may bring the whole of the company to her knees.

- I have located my dog's doppelganger. I popped my head into the cube of my neighbor, and spotted a veritable shrine to her Corgi Buddy. I did happen to have a picture of Frye handy, so we compared Corgi notes. But damned if her dog doesn't look just like mine.

- Went to get a cup of coffee, made a mental note that 1030 Tuesday means women's weight training and aerobics. Did I mention that the main hallway overlooks the aerobics room? Is it wrong to bring binoculars to work?

- My boss was in a rush to get me hired and started. Good thing too, because I needed a job. That being said, I officially have NOTHING to do Tuesday (today, as I'm writing on paper from work to type at home later), Thursday, and Friday this week. I don't have a PC here yet, and couldn't use the net anyway. And this software system I'm here to support? Doesn't get rolled out until Monday. That's alright. I can keep busy. Or keep looking busy. As long as they pay me.

CNN.com - CBS pulls Reagan miniseries - Nov. 4, 2003: "NEW YORK (AP) -- Capping an extraordinary conservative furor over a movie virtually no one has seen, CBS said Tuesday it will not air 'The Reagans' and shunt it off to the Showtime cable network instead.
Based on snippets of the script that had leaked out in recent weeks, conservatives, including the son of the former president, accused CBS of distorting the legacy of Ronald Reagan.
While CBS said it was not bowing to political pressure, critics said that was exactly the case, and worried about the effects of such pre-emptive strikes on future work. "

Fucking conservatives.