Right Back At You

Played poker in my home game last night. As always, it's NL Hold 'Em with a $10 buy-in, winner takes all. We had six including myself.

I'm proud of the way I played last night. I slowplayed a few hands beautifully, only lost "big" when I wanted to do it on purpose to make a point, pulled a Phil Helmuth and played one hand completely blind (didn't look) and won it (without having to show - no one noticed I didn't look), and won on a beautiful hand at the end playing heads-up.

Heads-up started with $6750 on the table, and I had $2500 of that. After thirty minutes back and forth, I was sitting on $4800 or so. I played the "wild" style that Sklansky/Malmuth talk about, where if you know your opponent is likely to fold, a nominal pre-flop raise on a consistent basis will steal enough blinds to pay for itself. And it definitely did with the blinds at 50/100. I was bleeding him senseless, and he didn't even realize it.

Anyway, at the end (still at $4800 v $1975 or so) I got dealt pocket fours. Made a $300 pre-flop raise, which was called (bears mentioning that this is a game where generally a raise of 50 seems like an aggressive one, I bump that up severely short handed, it seems to freak some of the players out a little). Flop comes 456 with two hearts. How nice is that? He bets into it, but only $50. I raise him to $300 and he calls. I'm betting at this point he's either sitting on a flush or a straight draw, and I'm positive my set of fours is the best hand. Turn comes, and it's a Q of spades, and that can't help anybody. He bets $50 into me, I raise him $500. He re-raises me (and I'm giddy) $800, which is nearly his whole stack (probably $400 left on the table). I call. River comes, and it's a J of hearts. He checks to me, and I'm certain he didn't hit his flush. I move him in another $300, AND HE FOLDS. I show him the set. Heh heh heh... He looks at my $6400, he looks at his $400, and he concedes the game.

By the way, how emotionally satisfying is it to be the asshole that raises someone ALMOST all-in? I love leaving $75 or $100 on the table in front of them if I know I've got them beat.

As of right now, I'm taking poker winnings + track winnings + $100 up to the casino to play some real live $3/$6 Limit. I'll let you know how that goes.

tiff topless in sexy cherry hot pants

From the title there, you'd really think she was topless, wouldn't you? Can you wear the palms of your hands as a bikini top? This chick just won't get naked for free. I'm none too happy about it either. If you're a web skank, be a freaking web skank already.

(Realizing what I've just done for Googling purposes)

The author of this page sincerely regrets using the terms "topless" and "web skank" in close enough proximity to bubble near the top of a search string for those very terms. Please be advised that there are NO pictures of web skanks, let alone topless web skanks, anywhere to be found on this page. I regret you'll have to wank elsewhere. Back to regularly scheduled programming.

Must be nice to be a young looking, virginal, attractive web skank. She's getting $24.95 for the first month, and $19.95 each successive month from her patrons. Keep in mind, there are absolutely no assurances she's topless anywhere here, let alone naked, for your hard earned dollars.

How many visitors do you think it takes her to break even? If she already has the computer (let's pretend there's no porno-mastermind-dude pulling the switches, and it's just horny Tiffany and her need to show off her body to all mankind), and already has the digital camera, the time, and the wardrobe, we're just talking web space here, right? That can't be cheap if she's got tons of images on there, but still couldn't be more than $200 a month.

So eleven guys sign up, and she's making money.

Young, nubile, hot + lack of inhibitions + computer + digital camera + time to spare = profit.

I'm surprised Don LePre hasn't latched on to this moneymaking scheme yet. I swear to god, if I were an 18 year old hot girl, I'd do it too.

Was annoyed tonight, went to the track, had a good night.

Found a 3/1 morning line horse running out of the four hole in a harness race at Northville. It was at 25/1. I threw $4WPS on the horse, and it crossed the finish line second.

But hold the phone, we have an objection.

The 3/1 horse that crossed first did something (I didn't see it) to warrant getting booted off the board entirely.

I got paid off $140 for my $12 bet. Nice!

Then, of course, I went on the tilt and left there only $30 richer, but that does factor in my beer. Still not bad.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Rolled off the wrong side of the bed this morning (which is a tremendously difficult feat, as the bed is pushed up against a wall), but the XM radio warmed me right up on my commute in. I started on the SpecXmas channel, which plays quirky and unusual Christmas music, and got Da Yoopers singing a “Jingle Bells” knock-off about a “Rusty Chevrolet.” That was followed by the Beatles around a microphone in the studio goofing around and talking about Christmas for about five minutes. I hadn’t heard that before.

I switched over to Top Tracks, the classic rock station, and caught the beginning of Steely Dan’s “Reeling in the Years,” which is great because I love Steely Dan. What really brought me up this morning though was “Let It Be.” Sometimes, on some days, a song just catches you right, and the above quoted verse was the warmth I needed on a cold grey morning. That was chased by Clapton’s “Forever Man,” and then by the Doors singing “Love Me Two Times,” and then CSN&Y with “Woodstock.” Five great songs in a row, no commercials, nothing to stop the music. I love XM radio.

I’m going to start requesting songs from Deep Tracks (the classic rock station that won’t play the hits) for my drive home I think. To that end, here’s my TOP FIVE SONGS/ARTISTS I’LL BE REQUESTING SOON:

1) Anything off of the volumes of material Mike Bloomfield and Al Kooper recorded live together. Bloomfield is the greatest rock guitarist no one remembers. His stuff with Al Kooper is legendary.
2) “Caravan” by Van Morrison off of The Band’s “The Last Waltz.” What a performance. I have the DVD of “The Last Waltz,” but love hearing this on the radio too. This song is actually the first and only request of mine that has made it onto the airwaves at XM.
3) “Oh! Sweet Nuthin’” by The Velvet Underground. VU rules, and this song is an underappreciated gem. I could also go with “Satellite of Love,” “What Goes On,” or “Lonesome Cowboy Bill.” All three kick ass. As a corollary to this, Nico has some great stuff as well, especially that song off of the soundtrack to “Royal Tenenbaums” that I can’t remember the title of (“Chelsea Girl,” I think).
4) Led Zeppelin’s “Ten Years Gone.” Man, I love this song.
5) Jethro Tull’s “Nothing Is Easy.” Tull was one of the top three concerts I’ve been to. And although “Aqualung” is a pretty ridiculous (but cool) song, they actually have some pretty good rock in their catalog most people haven’t heard. “Stand Up” is a pretty underrated album.

Speaking of music, caught Outkast’s performance on the VH1 “Big in 03” special last night. If there’s a more entertaining act out there today, I’d like to see them. Big Boi did “I Like The Way You Move,” and then Andre 3000 did “Hey Ya.” Easily the best two songs, in my opinion, I’ve heard all year long. And, as I’ve said before, I don’t understand why these guys aren’t selling two to three times the number of records they are. I know they’re popular, but I can’t imagine anyone could hear this music and not find it immensely likeable. I really caught up to Outkast on “Aquemini,” and also enjoyed the hell out of “Stankonia” and the new one(s) as well. Actually, I don’t have the new one(s) yet, so I’ll have to burn them off my brother when he’s in town for Christmas.

We always tease Bob for being far too picky with his choices in women. He always seems to find some reason to eliminate them from consideration. I’m a lot less picky, but I do have standards. Here then are my TOP FIVE TURNOFFS WITH WOMEN:

1) Patchouli – I don’t want to be within 30 feet of someone wearing patchouli, why would I want to date them? By the way, the vilest scent on the planet is patchouli covering strong body odor. I knew far too many dirty hippies in college. Patchouli is absolutely, positively the one thing on this list that I refuse to overlook to some extent.
2) Poor grammar – Look, despite the online pseudonym, I’m not some sort of elitist about intelligence. I don’t care if you end your sentences in prepositions. I couldn’t conceivably get it up though for a woman that writes me a note using the wrong “there/their/they’re” choice, or insists on using “supposebly” and “irregardless” (which, by the way, MS Word’s spell check does not consider wrong) in conversation.
3) Resistance to trying anything new – If you don’t like seafood, I’m not going to force you to try calamari (I will, however, continue to hound Mike about it until he finally caves). I won’t ask you to skydive with me if you have a big fear of heights. I don’t, however, want a woman that only does all the same shit all the time, and is a tantrum throwing crybaby when the opportunity to do or try something different arises. I don’t think this is a lot to ask.
4) Poor relationship with family – I remember a comedian had a line that went something like this, “My girlfriend told me, ‘I haven’t spoken to my mother in six years.’ Well, honey, looks like you’ll have no problem dumping my sorry ass as soon as things get rough.” Well, it was funnier when he said it, but you get the point. I could never in a million years marry a woman that didn’t have a normal to good relationship with her own family. If she hates her mom, she’ll probably hate my mom. How pleasant family holidays will be! And just like the comedian said, if you have no problem severing the most important relationships in your life, marriage isn’t going to mean a whole helluva lot to you now, is it?
5) General lack of knowledge – Again, getting back to the comments made in #2, it’s not important to me to have someone to whom I don’t have to explain the infield fly rule, supply-side economics, and why Kane’s last word was “Rosebud.” As a matter of fact, being a little under informed in certain areas is kind of endearing. I appreciate being able to share and teach some of the things I love if I’m able to get the same in return. But a woman who brings next-to-nothing to the table? I’m going to get real bored, real quick, no matter how good the sex is.

STRANGE INJURIES I’VE SUFFERED

1) Leaned back too far in my chair in kindergarten, chair legs slipped out and I cracked my head open on the edge of the table behind me.
2) Got a burn that turned into a blister that was 8” x ½” on my left arm when I was bumped carrying an industrial sized tray of baked potatoes.
3) Took a set of car keys thrown from 40 feet away square in the face two days before Prom (he threw them before I was looking, I’m not that inept). Had four scabs on my face for pictures.
4) Sprained my neck and missed two days of school trying to put a too-small sweatshirt on (couldn’t get my head through the neck hole).
5) Broke my nose trying to push a huge snowball up a snow mound. My moon boots slipped out from under me and the snowball I was pushing up the incline rolled over my face on its way down.
6) Bent my right pointer finger and lost the nail for a brief time when I had it crushed by a large concrete disk a metal sculpture was bolted to (I was helping take the sculpture off the base from underneath).
7) Got one of my worst nosebleeds ever when I was tickling my girlfriend and she crushed my nose with a severe jerk of her head while trying to escape.
8) Got the other of the worst nosebleeds ever trying to take a charge in a 2-on-2 basketball game while guarding Stinky. This was my only visit since I was very young to the emergency room.
9) Tried to dismount a 10-speed bike that was far too tall for me by straddling the back tire. I got tangled up with the bike and have a scar on my knee to this day to prove it.
10) Was shagging flies prior to a softball game, took a line drive off a bad hop right in the head, never told anyone I blacked out for a millisecond, but had a huge egg on my head for a few days anyway.
11) Played baseball on a poorly maintained field, slid into home, and opened up a gash on my right hip and thigh that was probably 6” x 1” top to bottom. That was a hell of a scab.

So I’m having an internal struggle about what to do for New Year’s Eve this year. I’ve got social and anti-social choices to consider. First, I know I can’t really get out of town too far, as I already will be in the Detroit area for the 28th and 29th on business, and have to be in the office on 1/2/04, so flying out anywhere is pointless. I might look to stick around in the metro Detroit area because, presumably, a married couple friend of mine will be hosting their usual New Year’s get together. I’ve probably spent three New Year’s over there, but I’ll only go if one of my friends is in town from Oregon. The other social option would be to go to a friend’s house locally here. I know he’s having people over, and although I haven’t had a personal invite yet, I’m sure it’s OK.

My anti-social option would probably be going to the casino. I’d leave town in the early evening, get up there, and hopefully get a seat at a poker table before 10PM. Then, hopefully, I could play poker well into the morning hours before driving home.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Do something with people. Hang out with friends. I know. Well, we’ll see, alright?

I’m almost done shopping for Christmas. Aside from stocking stuffers (just dollar store crap, that’s all I’m doing) for everyone, I have only my dad, his stepdaughter, and my brother’s fiancée for whom to buy. And my cousin, should she come out to visit during the holiday. I’m pretty stuck on what to get my dad. I can’t spend a ton of money, and I have a clearer picture of what not to get than I do of what to get. For example, I got him two books last Christmas, and one of the books is sitting on the same table it’s been on since 12/25/02. I know he hasn’t cracked it. I can’t get him golf stuff, as that has proven to be pointless considering all the crap he has already. And I am stuck for other ideas. I might just buy him some wine and consider that done.

The stepdaughter is a difficult one as well. Not only do I have no idea what a 16 year old girl wants (gee, I didn’t know when I was 16, and I don’t know now), she doesn’t know what she wants either. Therein lies my difficulty. She loves the phone more than life itself, but I got her one last year. So now I’m stuck.

And the brother’s fiancée is also not easy. I’m not going to speculate here as to what I am going to get her, as she might read this post at some point, but I might just cop out and take an easy road with her too.

I am proud of myself so far though, as I have done 100% of my shopping online (just Amazon and Crate and Barrel), and will continue that trend for the remaining three for whom I have to buy.

I’ve been kicking around the idea of getting some actual web space and my own honest-to-god domain name for my site. Plus, thinking about changing the title of my blog as well, but I’ll get to that later.

I’m thinking that I might have fun with the site if I can put some pictures up every now and again, plus, having my own domain name would be pretty cool I think.

My hang-up on this, besides the money it would cost, would be choosing an appropriate domain name. Of course, boygenius.com is gone. I’m not settling for something like boygenius.tv or anything like that. If I can’t get a dot com or a dot org, then I’m not going to bother. I can probably get boygeniusblog.com, but that just seems too cumbersome as well. So, I’m thinking I can do it any number of ways…

1) I could do something that borders on the absurd like mindycohnshrine.com (TV’s “Natalie” from Facts of Life), or wholovesfudge.com. I’m just concerned that if I lock myself into something like this for three years, then I’m just going to be annoyed with myself in a few months, and it won’t be ultimately worth it. Plus, I want a domain name that I won’t be ashamed to have an email address with. I can’t see myself signing up for anything with bg”@”ultimatefonzie.com.
2) I could probably get rtats.com (which is the acronym for the title to this site), but how easy is that to remember? Plus, like I hinted above, I may change the title of this someday.
3) I could always try to get an address based on things I like, such as detroitlionsblog.com, or pokerandhorses.com. Maybe food/wine related like italianred.com, or vealchop.com. I don’t know.
4) I could split the cost with my brothers and we could have a domain of blogbrothers.com or something. But I really want my own.

Still, though, I’m uninspired.

On to the title. The more blogs I see, the more I realize that “Random Thoughts” is probably the most boring, trite, and common blog title out there. Of course, augmenting that title with “and Thoroughbred Selections” makes it better, especially because if you’re here looking for informed horse picks, you’re out of luck.

Problem is, this site is primarily just “random thoughts.” Lately, I may as well call it “Killing Hours a Day at Work Without Internet Access,” but that doesn’t have a real quick and easy ring to it. I’m hesitant to use Boy Genius in any part of the title, as it’s a name that can already seem like some ego-infused moniker, but no one is going to give me credit for having used this name for nearly ten years online (and on video games).

I could gloss it like a teenage girl and call it something wistfully mournful like “Alone in my Room,” or “In the Darkness of Cyberspace,” but thankfully, I don’t own any Morrissey albums, and very few of my clothes are black (I have a dog, that color doesn’t work for me). Again, I could go the route of absurdity and choose something like “House of Norman Fell,” but again, I’m just going to grow bored of it and want to change it again.

One name I’ve been kicking around is “West Michigan on $110 a day.” I’m still not thrilled with this one entirely though.

Any suggestions?

Off Hiatus

(please excuse the huge set of posts today, I've been backblogging for two days at work)

Welcome Back
Your dreams were your ticket out
Welcome Back
To that same old place that we laughed about

I’m a sucker for TV theme songs, and John Sebastian’s is one of my favorites.

To this end, a quick “Welcome Back” TOP FIVE TV THEME SONGS (in order)

5) Rockford Files
4) Sopranos
3) Greatest American Hero
2) WKRP in Cincinnati
1) Welcome Back Kotter

I don’t want to talk about gambling, my weekend, my weekend gambling, the game, the state of the Lions, Spartan basketball, Spartan football, or Thanksgiving. I’m not going to mention my houseguest for the weekend, visiting with a cousin I haven’t seen since she was three (fifteen years ago), the latest goofy Google to my blog, or my exploits trying to make some money on Party Poker.

I want to talk about driftwood.

Water is a powerful force. It has the power to carve canyons and smooth the sharpest rocks. It has the ability to wash slowly and harmlessly on the shore or swell dramatically, flooding everything nearby. Water can be, at the same time, apparently calm and warm at the surface, but cold, dark, and tumultuously deep at its heart.

Among the things that water has the ability to carry with it is driftwood. Lifeless hunks of a formerly beautiful and vibrant tree either constantly pounded or slowly eroded by the water in which it aimlessly makes its home. It’s easy to recognize driftwood, as it carries every hallmark of being slowly beaten and shaped by the water it is in which it keeps constant contact.

Sometimes, it’s a beautifully smoothed and artistically shaped log. More often it is a weather-beaten, pockmarked, ugly and misshapen piece of wood that results. And it is the random will of the water as to when it chooses to wash the driftwood back to shore.

Let me repeat part of that: it is the random will of the water as to when it chooses to wash the driftwood back to shore.

Therein lies my fundamental problem. For nearly 30 years I’ve been adrift, subject to the random will of the waters.

Were this some sort of newfound emotional crisis, I might be distressed.

After nearly 30 years, it’s more of a resignation.

I’m always astounded when people can and do find god in a dark moment in their lives. I know from where that craving for faith originates. It’s entirely about the unexplainable and irretrievably huge impact that “random” has on our lives.

I can trace friendships, one marriage (besides mine), one soon-to-be-born child, and the dissolution of one relationship directly back to a single choice I made NOT to write an essay in 1991.

I met the woman I married in September 2000 because some 17-year-old kid in upstate New York wanted to work in Hotel Management and didn’t want to go to (or didn’t get into) Cornell back in 1991.

I’ll never believe that these types of events are the result of some sort of master plan. It’s all random, pure and simple. And I think that scares people. Random is dark, random is frightening. It’s easier to believe that nothing bad will happen because someone is watching over you.

Look, I’ve been lucky. I’m stronger stock than most people. I’ve got good family, no serious vices, and can speak and write eloquently when necessary. I’ve got a friend who has had the same job for over seven years, basically in retail, and gave up on trying to do better a long time ago. I’ve got a friend that isn’t able to concentrate and focus long enough to let his astounding intellect and Ivy League education work for him in any sense of the real world.

Adrift.

But not lost.

Even adrift, I have goals, plans, dreams…

True Or False
Three are disturbingly true, three are ridiculously false, and I’ll let you guess which ones are which…
(I’m not telling, and never told anyone about any of the true ones before – not that I’m proud of any of these moments)

1. Made out and went just a little too far with a 16 year old when I was 23
2. Had an attack of diarrhea in public, no bathrooms nearby, crapped in my pants and had to clean off by jumping in the lake fully clothed
3. Found my fiancée passed out drunk with her pajama top not buttoned all the way up and breasts hanging mostly out. I popped one more button on the pajama top and took numerous photos of her basically topless and sleeping, and never told her about it. Aside from two Christmas 1999 pictures, they’re the only pics of her I have now
4. Wiped the inside of a nasty customer’s soup bowl with a napkin I purposefully peed on before filling it up one day waiting tables
5. Drove two nails into each tire of a roommate’s car because she took my parking spot
6. Figured out a little bit into foreplay with AO the restaurant hostess that her gay male roommate was watching through a crack in the door, didn’t care, didn’t tell AO, had loud porno sex for quite awhile right in front of him

FAVORITES
(feel free to play along at home)

Music
Rock Group – Beatles
Musical Group – Miles Davis Quintet (with Coltrane, Garland, Jones, Chambers)
Musician, singular – Miles Davis
Musical Style – Jazz
Instrument – Guitar
Album – “Kind of Blue” by Miles Davis
Song – “So What” off “Kind of Blue”
Guitarist – Jimi Hendrix
Piano/Keyboards – Bill Evans
Drums – Keith Moon
Bass – John Entwistle
Singer – Frank Sinatra
Rock Singer – Robert Plant
Rapper – Andre 3000 from Outkast

Movies
Comedy – “This is: Spinal Tap”
Drama – “The Godfather”
Action – Kill Bill
Actor – Bill Murray
Actress – I don’t know… Julianne Moore?
Himbo – Keanu Reeves
Bimbo – Krista Allen
Recently Seen on Big Screen – Kill Bill
Fight Scene – Restaurant scene in Kill Bill
Sexy Scene – Phoebe Cates taking her top off in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”
Sex Scene (non-hard/soft core) – Uma Thurman and that French chick that was in “Pulp Fiction” from “Henry and June”
Young Actor – kid who plays “Eric” on “That 70s Show” (excellent in “Traffic”)
Young Actress – Katie Holmes

Television
Comedy – “The Larry Sanders Show”
Drama – “The Sopranos”
Comedy Character – Hank Kingsley, “Larry Sanders”
Drama Character – Tony Soprano
Game Show – “The Price Is Right”
Guilty Pleasure – “The O.C.”

Food & Beverage
Meat – Veal
Seafood – Crab Legs
Starch – Pasta, specifically bowties (farfalle)
Bread – “Paesano” bread from Zingerman’s in Ann Arbor
Fruit – Grapes
“Everyday” Meal – frozen pizza, specifically Jack’s rising crust pepperoni
Soup – Clam Chowder (New England)
Dessert – Cannoli
Pastry – Baklava
Snack Food – Soft Pretzels with mustard
Condiment – Mustard
Spice – Basil (technically an “herb”)
Ethnic Cuisine – Italian (followed by Middle Eastern)
Fast Food – Gyros and fries
Fast Food Chain – Wendy’s
Coffee – Starbucks’ Gold Coast
Tea – Green Tea at Japanese restaurants
Milk – only hot chocolate
Soda – Red Bull
Non-soda/non-alcoholic – Powerade (the blue stuff)
Alcoholic beverage – red wine
Beer – Bells’ from Kalamazoo, MI
Wine – Barolo
Liquor – most recently, Bombay Sapphire Gin
Restaurant – Clover Bar for Pizza, La Bistecca in Plymouth, MI for steaks

Sports
Sport – NFL Football
Non-Traditional Sport – Horse Racing
Team – Detroit Lions
College – Michigan State
Current Pro Athlete – Shaun Rogers (DT, Detroit Lions)
Former Pro Athlete – Barry Sanders (RB, Detroit Lions)
Current College Athlete – Paul Davis (PF, MSU Basketball)
Former College Athlete – Mateen Cleaves (PG, MSU Basketball)
Alum of Favorite College, current – Derrick Mason (WR, Tennessee Titans)
Alum of Favorite College, former – Magic Johnson (PG, Los Angeles Lakers)

Miscellaneous
Holiday – Christmas
Season – Spring
City/State/Region in which I don’t live – New York City
Vacation Destination – Las Vegas
Other Country – Jamaica
Method of Travel – Car
Shirt – Barry Sanders jersey
Pants – My recently ruined pair of J Crew jeans
Shoes – Merrell hiking shoes
Clothing, other – Halflinger slippers
Color – Blue, dark
Smell – (tie) Burning leaves and freshly mown lawns
Outdoor Activity – Camping
Indoor Activity – Poker (excepting, of course, sex)
Animal – Dog
Non-Pet Animal – Bird of prey (hawk/falcon/eagle)

Online
Website – Google
Blog - Anna’s
News – CNN.com
Humor – The Onion
Sports – ESPN.com
Email – Hotmail

A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF PERSONAL ITEMS I HAVE AT MY DESK

Photographs
- Frye the Dog from last Christmas in “Top Dog” picture frame
- Frye the Dog sprawled on the kitchen floor (photo is held up by a penguin with a sign that says “Dude!” and is holding a wire with an alligator clip atop)
- My near hole-in-one in Arizona (me, flagstick, ball just inches from cup)
- Dinner with friends in NYC (Enzo, Loaf, DA, and myself, circa 1998)
- Smoking cigars in the mountains with Nate (circa 1994)

Personal Office Supplies
- Palm Pilot m105
- HotSync cradle for Palm (with setup CD-ROM)
- Tape dispenser, stolen from NBD/Bank One desk, circa 1999
- Stapler, stolen from software company on my way out the door, circa 2001
- Three pens – one from electronics company LG that is metal and sits on a pyramid base and spins, two from Bob’s assortment of embarrassing drugs he sells
- Black leather “interview folder” with defunct software company’s logo and an ace of hearts playing card in the “business card window” inside (contents include my divorce decree, 401k transfer information, business card from a girl I should have called but didn’t, and various other business cards)

Miscellanea
- Betting slips - $10 each on Denver and the New York Jets to win the 2003-04 Super Bowl (purchased in January 2003 from the Las Vegas Hilton)
- Cigarette trading card for endangered specie the Golden Lion Tamarin
- 16oz silver Starbucks coffee travel mug
- 3.5oz box of Wilhelmina brand Dutch peppermints
- 14 flaxseed oil caplets in a small Ziploc “Tupperware” style container (there was this diet I was on once)
- Empty OfficeMax file folder box

Over the past week and a half I got to housesit for my dad and his wife while they spent Thanksgiving down south. I got, as a gift from them “for my troubles (including a 20 minute shorter commute, more channels on cable, a house to myself, being able to park in a garage, and allowing my dog to play outside every day with his buddy),” another bottle of Barolo.

Damn.

I love Barolo. By far and away, Barolos would be my favorite wines. I just can’t afford to spend $40-$90 a bottle on this stuff.

So now I’ve got two bottles, one from Christmas 2002, and one from this past weekend. Luckily, these wines will continue to get better and better over the course of the next ten years, so I’m really in no rush to drink them. But they are burning a little hole in my pocket, to say the least.

I recently was emailed a baby name survey for my favorite pot-smoking hippie couple I’ve known since college. Sadly, the baby will be saddled with a pretty cumbersome last name (pronounced “pah-CHORE-kah”), but I’m impressed so far with their choices for first names.

Ivan
Dag
Kellen
Jude
Jagger
Lars
Liam
Max (Maximillian)
Miles


Obviously, they’re having a boy. And I am impressed with the dad for pushing “Kellen” through as one of his choices. Any football fan worth his salt between 29 and 40 should push to name his kid after a warrior like Kellen Winslow. I do hope that he wins out and can have a little Kellen pah-CHORE-kah running around the house.

Were I having a son, and were I in love with a woman that wouldn’t fight me on all these choices, here are the TOP FIVE BABY NAMES FOR MY FIRST BORN SON:

1) Luciano – I was almost named Luciano, and part of me wishes I were. My dad was a huge fan of then-Lions linebacker Mike Lucci, and wanted to call me “Lucci.”
2) Santino – Maybe my thinking is antiquated, but I think “Sonny” is a pretty damn cool nickname. You’ve got Sonny (Santino) Corleone, Sonny Rollins, Sonny Stitt, and tough guy Sonny Barger. Hell, I oughta just change my name now to Santino and ask everyone to call me Sonny.
3) Owen – Works well in the non-ethnic way with my last name. Plus, then I give a nod to my favorite book, “A Prayer for Owen Meany.”
4) Angelo – I don’t know, I’ve always liked Angelo. I like Vito too, but not enough for a top five list.
5) Miles – Although you have to be a pretty cool kid to pull of Miles if you’re white.

Here’s a conundrum I’m curious about… The E! Network makes its living off of softball interviews and “all access” “behind-the-scenes” contact with celebrities. Celebrities hate the paparazzi. The E! Network has this show called “Celebrities Uncensored” (I think) where they are obviously buying paparazzi footage of celebrities, no matter how boring (Look, it’s David Alan Grier walking out of a restaurant and to his car! Hey, Shannen Doherty is drunk and flipping off a photographer!).

Why don’t celebrities band together and force the E! Network to take this show off the air? If they stop talking to this network, they’ll only have the freaking Anna Nicole show and the “True Hollywood Story” series to fall back on. Why support a network that promises to put money into the hands of the already aggressive paparazzi?