random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Some more things�

Is there any chance we can just declare Martha Stewart, Michael Jackson, and Scott Petersen guilty already? They�ve already been tried in the media. What�s the difference?

I saw on TV that another �genius� public servant, this time a City Council member from a North Carolina city, put a stone monument of the ten commandments on city property that had to be removed. Look, I�m happy for you if you believe the Bible shows you the path on which you�ll live your life. But I have never heard one compelling or legal argument that could get me to agree that the ten commandments have any place at all on publicly owned property. Frankly, what�s the difference between having the ten commandments or a burning cross outside the court room? I don�t see any difference at all. To me, each says �if you�re not like the rest of us, don�t expect to be treated fairly.� It�s religious intimidation, plain and simple. I don�t agree with it, and I don�t believe Christianity should be treated as some sort of �default� belief in this country. That�s insulting to the rest of us.

A headline to an article I saw on Google News: �Madonna Used to be Good Looking.� This is from a paper called the �Hindustan Times.� Ummm, OK� Look, enough great lighting, makeup, and well tailored clothing could make just about anybody appear �good looking.� I will say, though, that the naked pictures she had in her �Sex� book were pretty good. She used to look pretty darn good nude. That being said, she�s been a played out skank for about fifteen years now.

So how many more generations have to pass on before people stop giving a shit about Elvis? That thought inspires a top ten list:

Top Ten Most Overrated People Ever
(in no order)

1) Elvis Presley � He did a pretty solid job of imitating a guy with real talent, Carl Perkins.
2) Emmitt Smith � All he did was keep churning out the yards, but his teams were better than Payton�s or Barry Sanders�, neither of whose jocks he is capable of holding talent-wise. By the way Emmitt� way to ride off gracefully into the sunset.
3) Gallagher � Nilla please. I can�t believe that there are enough people who find this dude funny to actually have a �Gallagher II� impersonator out on the road at the same time.
4) Andy Warhol � All style, no substance, but that was the point, wasn�t it? He makes this list for not being half as cool as Crispin Glover as Andy Warhol in the movie �The Doors.�
5) John Densmore � Speaking of the Doors, if you asked me who the worst musician in rock history was, I�m pretty sure my answer would be John Densmore. Hell, that entire band was just riding Morrison�s coattails. If it wasn�t for him, they�d probably be playing the Poughkeepsie Marriott Lounge right about now.
6) Jim Belushi � Just like Bob, I�m confused how this dude keeps getting acting roles. Way to trade on your dead brother�s name for twenty years there Jim.
7) Mike Tyson � No longer fast, no longer powerful, all he�s capable of being is a lunatic. Good thing he�s a boxer, any other sport would have kicked him out a long time ago. How he keeps landing marquee opponents and selling Pay-per-view packaged fights is beyond me.
8) Heather Locklear � Give her credit for pimping a big blonde do and a pair of cans into major success on TV. Terrible actress with chicken legs that married a dude from Bon Jovi, but not Bon Jovi himself. Speaking of�
9) Jon Bon Jovi � First off, John Bongiovi, way to sell out your culture by dumbing down your name. Secondly, your songs were the second crappiest of the whole era, next to Def Leppard. Third, should a �heavy metal� (in the loosest sense of the word) front man be smiling all damn day long? Bongiovi, you suck.
10) Joey Bishop � Quick, besides �hang out with Sinatra,� name one thing Joey Bishop ever did in his entire �career.� Thought so.

You know, there are some things I find a little unnerving, and one of them is having a conversation with someone who has smaller-than-normal teeth with equidistant gaps between each tooth.

I know why they call it a �rest room.� It�s because that�s the place to which I retreat for fifteen minute breaks in the morning and the afternoon. Nothing beats a good rest room break, except posting a new third highest score this morning during my rest room break on my Palm Pilot Yahtzee game (414).

They ran out of my coffee (Starbucks� Gold Coast) at the grocery store, and aren�t getting any more until Thursday or Monday. I had to buy the Espresso Roast, which isn�t even close to as good. By the way, were I swinging the clubs well, it would only take me about three 3-Wood shots to move a golf ball from one Starbucks to the other in my little town of 14,000. Two, if I were getting a good roll on the parking lots.

Alright, here�s a terrible comment on an even worse news story:

�Pedophile Massachusetts Priest Defrocked.� Hey, isn�t that what got him into trouble in the first place?

You want to know what really sucks? That I made next-to-nothing for salary in 2003, and I still am going to owe on my taxes. That�s ludicrous. Granted, it�s only somewhere in the $200 neighborhood, but I really barely made any money at all, and shouldn�t even have had $200 subtracted from my paychecks, let alone have to cover some sort of shortcoming in that regard.

I could always look for a write off though� I didn�t start a Roth IRA, so there goes that one. I didn�t pay a dime of tuition anywhere, so I�m out of luck on that. I certainly didn�t donate any money to charity, so, chances are, I�m stuck.

[>>]posted at 9:26 PM by BG - click to email
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