Two Hundred Channels and Nothing’s On
Yeah, yeah… I’m the last person who should be talking about
quality versus
quantity, right? I mean, look at my blog. It’s a mess. Every single day.
I don’t understand cable TV service though. I’ve got digital cable, and I know there’s enough bandwidth (or whatever the digital equivalent is) to carry hundreds more channels than we already get.
Not that we necessarily
need more channels, but I’m troubled by the fact that they’re not at least offered.
For example, I want HorseRacingTV. You can’t tell me that HorseRacingTV wouldn’t be absolutely thrilled to give itself away for free into every American home if it had the opportunity.
But my cable company has no plans to let me watch what I’d like to watch.
I’m not really sure what their motivation for restricting access to channels is, but I know I’d like to have the opportunity to at least say “yes” or “no, thanks” to some of the channels we get on cable.
Top Ten Channels I Wish I Could Trade In
(in order, worst channel first)
1) Style Network – The only thing worthwhile on here is “Nigella Bites.”
2) E! – I hate this whole network and their whole theory of spoon feeding us celebrity details as entertainment. That paparazzi show is currently the worst thing on television.
3) The Catholic Network – I have no idea why we need
three religious television networks on our digital cable system. I could put all three on here, but we’ll mix it up a bit. Actually, we could keep TBN, that’s always good for a laugh.
4) HG – The Home and Garden Network – This is the answer to the question, “What happens when network executives think they can build an entire network out of the show ‘Trading Spaces?’”
5) Fox Sports Net – Yes, you’d miss some Pistons and Red Wings games. That being said, Fox can’t touch ESPN for production value or content, and that “Best Damn Sports Show” is awful television.
6) Lifetime – They could get rid of this channel, as long as they moved those hilarious 3PM “woman in trouble” made for TV movies to the Oxygen Network.
7) Animal Planet – Why don’t they take a cue from the past and spend most of their schedule showing those kick ass nature documentaries instead of a blatant “Cops” rip-off featuring animal control officers? I don’t get it. And please, for the love of god, get that dog tricks show off the air.
8) The Gaming Network – Apparently, there’s now a whole channel devoted to video games. I guess getting off the couch has just gotten that much more difficult for our younger generation.
9) Game Show Network – I used to think this concept could work. I’m not so sure anymore. I could most certainly live without their new game shows, especially that “Press Your Luck For Idiots” show, “Whammy.” That, and that show “Cram” are absolutely abysmal.
10) MTV – You know, it’s not that I especially dislike, or that I don’t watch MTV. It’s that I think they’ve done the imaginations of two generations now a horrible disservice by attaching imagery to music, which has forever changed the place that music occupies in a young person’s life. The MTV brass should be ashamed of themselves. Unfortunately, they can’t be reached for comment as they’re swimming in their huge vault of money currently. Sellouts.