random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Friday, April 09, 2004

An offer I can't refuse

The link above, obviously, to the Poker Bloggin' Godfather of Funk, and another link here is due to NYC's Poker DaVinci, poker blogging's Renaissance Man.

And, of course, there's me... the freaking Ron Popeil of poker, whatever that's supposed to mean.

Why the intro?

I wasn't logged in two minutes to PartyPoker last night and Pauly flies me a quick ping, looking to sit in on a SNG with me. After a little difficulty, we also managed to rope a very close to drunk Iggy into our circle as well and jumped on a $10 SNG.

I played two SNGs last night, and saw TT once, no pairs bigger than sixes otherwise, and in the last game saw a turn card once in the whole tournament, and that was on my last all-in with only 200 left.

But this one wasn't about the cards.

With a Yahoo chat going in the background with Iggy and Pauly (no collusion, I assure you - we're probably not that smart or organized), no one else at the table could possibly have known we knew each other.

And I got bored with the crap cards real quick. So what's a kid to do?

We weren't five minutes in when "Adam" pushed all-in over a player named "Haag" with only 70 chips in the pot. Haag went after Adam in chat, telling him what a stupid play he just made.

Why not?

I jump in and decide to have a little fun.

Haag: pretty dumb
adam: what
Haag: that move
adam: or was it
adam: ??
Haag: why go all in there with 70 chips in the pot?
adam: cause i can
Haag: that's right
Boygza: last i checked haag, he's got you by 50
Haag: and you did
Haag: and it was pretty dumb
Boygza: that makes him better, right?
Haag: oh wow
Haag: 50

But it became pretty clear pretty quick that Adam was the one to poke with the short stick. And, Iggy wanted a piece too.

adam: games not over yet bro, we will see the competence level i posses as oppsed to u
adam: dont judge me by what u dont know
Iggy: let me guess
Haag: hopefully it is better than your spelling
Iggy: public schools adam?
Boygza: phonics monkey?
adam: no, i go to the largest business school in new england
adam: didnt know i had to spell words correctly for u morons to read what i write
adam: but i be more careful from now on
adam: to apease both of you
Haag: well you started spouting about your competence and what not
adam: and competence is judge based on a type-o?
adam: somewhere along the line, someone lied to you
Boygza: no, it's judgeD based on a typo
adam: look up the definition
Boygza: hey you're guilty here too haag, you started it
adam: for type o
adam: and you will find that it means TO MISS TYPE
Boygza: or mistype
adam: same difference
adam: well i would like to say im pleased to be in a room full of brilliance
Boygza: good to see the largest B-school in all of NE can help you identify genius
adam: no, someone made a comment about public schools
Iggy: i did!
adam: that was my response
Boygza: i'm the freaking ron popeil of poker
adam: IT ISNT A PUBLIC SCHOOL
Iggy: shouldnt you be on a ledge somewhere?
adam: you asked if i went to a public school
adam: i answered you
adam: christ
adam: wtf is this the spanish inquisition
Iggy: want a cookie?
Haag: haha
Pauly: hey adam do u go to harvard b-school?
Boygza: no one expects the spanish inquisition
adam: no, bentley college
Pauly: then stop talkin smack
adam: IM NOT TALKING SMACK
Iggy: sometimes when i sneeze i pee
Haag: this is a good table
Haag: full of laughs
Pauly: 'u aint seennuthin yet Haag

Yes Haag, and by staying out of the line of fire, you were enjoying it. Good move. Oh, and the Non-Sequitur Award for last night does, in fact, go to Iggy for his "sometimes when i sneeze i pee" line from out of completely nowhere. Congratulations. I enjoy mustard on my bratwurst.

Adam then tries to deflect a little attention by taking an amateur swipe out at Haag. Shortly therein, a proper all-in attempt happens at the table, and Haag feels the need to point out how it's done to our little TiltBoy.

adam: Haag=pretty dumb
adam: is talking smack
Haag: see, this is an example of how you go all in adam
adam: oh yea?
adam: thanks for the lesson
adam: but i can think for myself
Boygza: yeah, b-school certainly trains the next wave of independent thought
Boygza: all the best a public school education can provide
adam: what do you do for a living bro?
Boygza: ron popeil never needed b school
Boygza: all you need to know is that i like two things
Boygza: bubble gum and kicking some a
Boygza: and i'm all out of bubble gum

We all kinda shut up for a little while then. Especially Adam.

I busted out in fifth, Pauly I think in third or fourth, and it eventually got down to Iggy and Adam. I wasn't about to let Adam have any peace, hopefully giving our hero the edge he needed to take the top prize, championship belt, year's supply of Turtle Wax, and the complimentary copy of the home game.

To be fair, Pauly started it.

Pauly: im not too smart i only went to yale
adam: oooo k
adam: what does that prove?

Pauly busts out when Adam flops a flush and Pauly was low on chips...

Pauly: lucky flop tough guy
adam: what are we playing?
adam: oh yea poker
adam: luck is a part of the game
Boygza: obviously they don't have a "smack talking 101" in the bentley catalog
Boygza: are the "your mama" jokes coming next?
Pauly: its rigth after lunch
Boygza: "cause I just got off of yours!"
Boygza: you know i'm just sticking around to watch you there featherpants
adam: like u said, ur all outa bubble gum
Boygza: i may chew my friend, but at least i don't blow
Boygza: (burn!)
Boygza: they teach you THAT on the public school playgrounds?
Boygza: you've been served

Shortly thereafter Iggy did end up winning, and I actually felt a little like I should apologize to the poor kid for being a complete turd to him for about an hour. By the way, for those who don't know, Iggy's PartyPoker persona is female with an obviously female screenname. Let's call him "Juli:"

Boygza: i was just watching my man Juli and having fun
Boygza: nothing personal
adam: ok bud
adam: Juli was a woman

I feel bad for that disillusioned kid. But even though my cards sucked, it's always nice to sit down with the guys (and Felicia) from the Poker Blogging community. Good people, and not above pissing on a poor kid just for the sport of it.

[>>]posted at 5:31 PM by BG - click to email
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