random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Snap your fingers and turn on a light? That was my idea�

I noticed in my script for the play I�m doing that the guy who originated my role in the first production of this play was Peter MacNicol, he of �Ally McBeal� and �Ghostbusters 2� fame. Somehow, I just don�t see him in this part, but maybe that�s just the mark of a talented actor.

Speaking of �Ghostbusters 2,� does anyone else miss Bobby Brown in his prime? I mean, who didn�t love that theme from GB2 that he did? He was a dual threat before that was in vogue, with the singing and the rapping. And not that I�m suggesting that the fashions of the day should ever be resurrected, but who doesn�t miss the videos with three or four backup dancers sporting their high top fade gumby cuts, decked out in primary colored overalls and shirts so loud you needed earplugs just to watch the video on mute? I still can�t figure out why those clothes seemed to work on black guys, but white guys looked downright stupid in them. I had one t-shirt that was colorful like this, and I know I always looked dumb in it. At least I had the good sense not to pair it with fire engine red overalls.

There are no fewer than three billboards within a mile of each other on the highway on the south end of town that have a big picture of (a model pretending to be) Jesus, and feature phrases like �Come Experience the Passion!�

Um, no thanks. I�d let you tell me about it if you want, but if you�re looking to let me drag a cross through the streets while you whip me and throw rocks � you know, to get that true experience � then I think I�ll pass.

That�s a very Catholic thought for this area. The glorification of an event that ostensibly stands to inspire guilt. �He died for you, so behave or burn!� I guess I don�t know much about the Dutch Christian Reformed faith, which is enormously predominant in this area, but I think I�m still a little bit surprised that this movie, with its obviously heavily Catholic viewpoint, has been such a runaway success here in the area.

I still don�t really understand the billboards though. They all feature the head of TedNugentJesus, and are all wearing the proverbial crown of thorns. Of course, no blood. But the posters in and of themselves are quite self-serving, piggy-backing off of the success of a movie to try to add members to their flock. Maybe I�m old school in this regard, but I just don�t think churches should be actively recruiting like this.

Well, you know, if I was truly old school, I guess I�d believe that the Spanish Army should be going door-to-door to inquire as to your faith, and help you make the appropriate decision on a church. But again, that�s probably a little too old-school.

I stopped talking years ago to a Mormon friend of mine from high school because of his missionary work. Rather, it was his attitude towards the people to whom he was missionating (can I patent that word through Invent-Tech?). He was sent down to Colombia, and would write these letters that talked at length about how lost all these people were. A typical passage might read:

We visited a smaller village outside of Bogota today. I can really see that I�m doing the Lord�s calling out here, because these people are lost. One of the villagers had a daughter who had just given birth, and the whole town seemed to take it as an excuse to drink away their ignorance. It�s so amazing to see these people using any excuse possible to drink themselves into oblivion.

I had a great conversation with a couple of families today where my companion and I explained to them at length the consequences to not accepting Jesus into their hearts and lives. I believe we�re really making a difference for some of these families!

Good god. Reading those letters he used to write, I always half expected him to use the phrase �noble savages� somewhere on the next line. Of course these people are using any excuse they can find to celebrate with each other! If you lived in a rickety balsa wood shack near the edge of the jungle with nothing to do but pick coffee beans for an international conglomerate only paying you enough to not quit your job and sit on your ass and whittle all day, you�d be looking for a reason to be happy too! And I have a real hard time believing that the conversion of people in these environments to a life of pious denial and disapproval of the lifestyles of others is really making a positive impact.

They don�t need your lord as much as they could probably use clean socks, or a decent pair of boots for their work in the fields.

The one thing I can at least give the Mormons credit for in their missionary work is that they are consistent in trying to recruit everyone, not just the �misguided noble savages� of the third world.

I do admire those missionaries who feel called to go build a dam in a remote Amazon village, or houses for the poor in Southern Mexico. I think the Mormons would improve their image and recruitment quite a bit if they included public service to a larger extent in their missionary work.

As it stands though, people of the world are learning to avoid the white guys in their dark pants and short sleeved white shirts and ties who are riding their bikes around looking for anyone to listen to their propaganda. With their missionary efforts, I�ve always felt that the Mormons are less interested in these people and families as individuals, and more as just another tick in their score column.

Either that, or I�m just generally bitter because I grew up Catholic in Salt Lake City.

[>>]posted at 11:06 AM by BG - click to email
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