Wednesday, April 07, 2004
With Apologies To Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg…
Rating Things You Can Buy On TV
The HoverDisc - What kid isn’t infatuated by UFOs? With the HoverDisc, you get what’s ostensibly a cross between a balloon and a giant Frisbee, but all dressed up like a UFO. They make it look like a lot of fun in the commercials, kinda like those guys in the mall kiosks that throw that big Styrofoam plane for loops all day long. Of course, I think they fill the HoverDisc with helium for good effect on TV, so I’m sure it’s not as fun as it looks. Also, the first time it dings a tree branch, a jagged rock, or is chased and caught by the family dog, I’m sure the Mylar repair kit (sold separately) combined with your mom giving the damaged HoverDisc a half-assed repair job will ensure your HoverDisc’s home in the back of your closet for years to come. Grade: C-
Natural Bra - “The soft gel strapless bra that increases your cup size.” Let’s get one thing straight right off the top. I love big jugs. And anything that can make them look bigger should frankly be standard issue in a girls-only senior year assembly in every high school in the country. You know what else is cool about this product? If you’ve seen the commercial, you can see that these are essentially latex rubber cups that glue on to the front and underside of the breast. Anything that resembles Hollywood monster mask makeup, and can make me feel just a little like Rollie Tyler from “FX,” is cool by me. Grade: A
Micro-Touch Personal Groomer - Here’s my question to the makers or the Micro-Touch Personal Groomer: If you’re going to manufacture a hair cutting system that only removes a swath about 1/8” wide at a time, and extremely slowly at that, to what crowd are you appealing? Those of us who find the whole concept of “scissors” just too puzzling? The heavily partisan anti-razor faction? My favorite part of the commercial is when they use the groomer to remove the hair from the overly hirsute big toe. That has got to be a special effects shot, or perhaps we now have proof that Sasquatch walks among us. Grade: C
Ronco Rotisserie Grill - Ron Popeil is a genius. If he ever invented anything earth-shattering, beyond the Pocket Fisherman of course, he might very well go down as the Thomas Edison of the late 20th Century. If I had the Ronco Rotisserie Grill though, and my kitchen was putting together their high school yearbook, the Rotisserie Grill and my rice maker would probably be neck-and-neck to become “Most Likely To Be Used Less Than The Breadmaker.” However, if my fourth grade teacher was grading the infomercial, she’d give me a “check-plus” for the whole “Set it and forget it” mantra. Still… Grade: C-
The Ultimate Chopper - Chef Tony, where have you been all my life? I don’t know anything about your credentials as a chef, but I would guess that you’ve sold a used Buick or two in your time. No matter, I just wanted to pay a compliment to your infomercial for The Ultimate Chopper. Anything you can crush concrete into a finely powdered pile with sounds like fun to me. How useful could that possibly be though? Can you reconstitute powdered concrete with a little water back to cement? Why not just buy a bag of cement? Maybe I’m thinking too much about this. Grade: B+
Turbo Cooker - Now! You too can cook your salmon! Potatoes! Vegetables! And chocolate cake! In the same pan under the same lid all at the same time? That is, if you don’t mind a chocolate flavored piece of salmon, and a salmon flavored piece of chocolate cake. Who could possibly find good use out of this product unless their sense of smell was rendered completely ineffective in a bizarre accident? Then, everything tastes the same, so why even bother getting a second pan dirty? Grade: D
There are lots of casino bonuses available on the internet for all countries like casino bonus deutsch, casino bonus italiano and casino bonus svenska. You can get the best online casino bonus using the bodog casino code.
UK Poker is growing quickly and there are now several good UK poker sites. Many of these are well known bookmakers such as Betfred, Ladbrokes and also betfair who have launched Betfair Poker.
Links
Main Page
Up For Sports
Bill Simmons @ ESPN
Deadspin
About the Author
100 Things
Greatest Hits [archived]
Poker Blogs
Guinness and Poker
Al Can't Hang
Chris Halverson
The Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Tao of Pauly
PokerGrub
Studio Glyphic
Jason Kirk
HillJack Shit
Mean Gene
Decker
Scott, Texas' favorite Fat Guy
Only Built 4 Cuban Links
JoeSpeaker
Bad Blood
Up For Poker
DoubleAs
Ugarte's Poker Grovel
Gracie
JD's Cheap Thrills
Human Head
THG
Poker Stars Blog
Maigrey
F-Train
Vegas Poker Blog
Poker in the Weeds
Nickle And Dimes
Not a Poker Blog
Maudie
Poker Geek
Penner
BeerCity Poker
Da Roostah
Marty
Chilly
Nickerblog
Falstaff
DonkeyPuncher
Wil
EasyCure
Wes
Facty
Jackmama
Ryan
Garthmeister
Biggestron
PokerWolf
Change1OO
Duggles
TeamScottSmith
Big Pirate
dnasty
GCox
Jordan
Pinky
PokerRetards
WillWonka
Laoch
Zeem
PokerComix
TripJax
StealTheBlinds
Treducks
Fat Dan
JacksRok
Favorites
Mimi Smartypants
Dispatches From The Culture Wars
Other Projects
Truckin'
Horse Racing Links
Curb My Enthusiasm
Daily Racing Form
They Are At The Post
Equibase
Tampa Bay Downs
Your Average Horseplayer
Tote Board Brad
Post Parade
Railbird
Left At The Gate
Hand Ride
Turf Luck
Paddock Pete
Archives
- 3/27/94 - 4/3/94
- 2/26/95 - 3/5/95
- 1/14/96 - 1/21/96
- 1/28/96 - 2/4/96
- 2/11/96 - 2/18/96
- 6/29/97 - 7/6/97
- 12/27/98 - 1/3/99
- 6/13/99 - 6/20/99
- 10/3/99 - 10/10/99
- 11/14/99 - 11/21/99
- 12/19/99 - 12/26/99
- 6/25/00 - 7/2/00
- 4/22/01 - 4/29/01
- 6/10/01 - 6/17/01
- 9/8/02 - 9/15/02
- 9/15/02 - 9/22/02
- 9/22/02 - 9/29/02
- 9/29/02 - 10/6/02
- 11/3/02 - 11/10/02
- 11/24/02 - 12/1/02
- 12/29/02 - 1/5/03
- 5/25/03 - 6/1/03
- 6/15/03 - 6/22/03
- 6/22/03 - 6/29/03
- 6/29/03 - 7/6/03
- 7/6/03 - 7/13/03
- 7/13/03 - 7/20/03
- 7/20/03 - 7/27/03
- 7/27/03 - 8/3/03
- 8/3/03 - 8/10/03
- 8/10/03 - 8/17/03
- 8/17/03 - 8/24/03
- 8/24/03 - 8/31/03
- 8/31/03 - 9/7/03
- 9/7/03 - 9/14/03
- 9/14/03 - 9/21/03
- 9/21/03 - 9/28/03
- 9/28/03 - 10/5/03
- 10/5/03 - 10/12/03
- 10/12/03 - 10/19/03
- 10/19/03 - 10/26/03
- 10/26/03 - 11/2/03
- 11/2/03 - 11/9/03
- 11/9/03 - 11/16/03
- 11/16/03 - 11/23/03
- 11/23/03 - 11/30/03
- 11/30/03 - 12/7/03
- 12/7/03 - 12/14/03
- 12/14/03 - 12/21/03
- 12/21/03 - 12/28/03
- 12/28/03 - 1/4/04
- 1/4/04 - 1/11/04
- 1/11/04 - 1/18/04
- 1/18/04 - 1/25/04
- 1/25/04 - 2/1/04
- 2/1/04 - 2/8/04
- 2/8/04 - 2/15/04
- 2/15/04 - 2/22/04
- 2/22/04 - 2/29/04
- 2/29/04 - 3/7/04
- 3/7/04 - 3/14/04
- 3/14/04 - 3/21/04
- 3/21/04 - 3/28/04
- 3/28/04 - 4/4/04
- 4/4/04 - 4/11/04
- 4/11/04 - 4/18/04
- 4/18/04 - 4/25/04
- 4/25/04 - 5/2/04
- 5/2/04 - 5/9/04
- 5/9/04 - 5/16/04
- 5/16/04 - 5/23/04
- 5/23/04 - 5/30/04
- 5/30/04 - 6/6/04
- 6/6/04 - 6/13/04
- 6/13/04 - 6/20/04
- 6/20/04 - 6/27/04
- 6/27/04 - 7/4/04
- 7/4/04 - 7/11/04
- 7/11/04 - 7/18/04
- 7/18/04 - 7/25/04
- 7/25/04 - 8/1/04
- 8/1/04 - 8/8/04
- 8/8/04 - 8/15/04
- 8/15/04 - 8/22/04
- 8/22/04 - 8/29/04
- 8/29/04 - 9/5/04
- 9/5/04 - 9/12/04
- 9/12/04 - 9/19/04
- 9/19/04 - 9/26/04
- 9/26/04 - 10/3/04
- 10/3/04 - 10/10/04
- 10/10/04 - 10/17/04
- 10/17/04 - 10/24/04
- 10/24/04 - 10/31/04
- 10/31/04 - 11/7/04
- 11/7/04 - 11/14/04
- 11/14/04 - 11/21/04
- 11/21/04 - 11/28/04
- 11/28/04 - 12/5/04
- 12/5/04 - 12/12/04
- 12/12/04 - 12/19/04
- 12/19/04 - 12/26/04
- 12/26/04 - 1/2/05
- 1/2/05 - 1/9/05
- 1/9/05 - 1/16/05
- 1/16/05 - 1/23/05
- 1/23/05 - 1/30/05
- 1/30/05 - 2/6/05
- 2/6/05 - 2/13/05
- 2/13/05 - 2/20/05
- 2/20/05 - 2/27/05
- 2/27/05 - 3/6/05
- 3/6/05 - 3/13/05
- 3/13/05 - 3/20/05
- 3/20/05 - 3/27/05
- 3/27/05 - 4/3/05
- 4/3/05 - 4/10/05
- 4/10/05 - 4/17/05
- 4/17/05 - 4/24/05
- 4/24/05 - 5/1/05
- 5/1/05 - 5/8/05
- 5/8/05 - 5/15/05
- 5/15/05 - 5/22/05
- 5/22/05 - 5/29/05
- 5/29/05 - 6/5/05
- 6/5/05 - 6/12/05
- 6/12/05 - 6/19/05
- 6/19/05 - 6/26/05
- 6/26/05 - 7/3/05
- 7/3/05 - 7/10/05
- 7/10/05 - 7/17/05
- 7/17/05 - 7/24/05
- 7/31/05 - 8/7/05
- 8/7/05 - 8/14/05
- 8/14/05 - 8/21/05
- 8/21/05 - 8/28/05
- 8/28/05 - 9/4/05
- 9/4/05 - 9/11/05
- 9/11/05 - 9/18/05
- 9/18/05 - 9/25/05
- 9/25/05 - 10/2/05
- 10/9/05 - 10/16/05
- 10/16/05 - 10/23/05
- 10/23/05 - 10/30/05
- 10/30/05 - 11/6/05
- 11/20/05 - 11/27/05
- 11/27/05 - 12/4/05
- 12/4/05 - 12/11/05
- 12/11/05 - 12/18/05
- 12/18/05 - 12/25/05
- 12/25/05 - 1/1/06
- 1/1/06 - 1/8/06
- 1/8/06 - 1/15/06
- 1/15/06 - 1/22/06
- 1/22/06 - 1/29/06
- 1/29/06 - 2/5/06
- 2/5/06 - 2/12/06
- 2/12/06 - 2/19/06
- 2/19/06 - 2/26/06
- 2/26/06 - 3/5/06
- 3/5/06 - 3/12/06
- 3/12/06 - 3/19/06
- 3/19/06 - 3/26/06
- 3/26/06 - 4/2/06
- 4/2/06 - 4/9/06
- 4/9/06 - 4/16/06
- 4/16/06 - 4/23/06
- 4/23/06 - 4/30/06
- 4/30/06 - 5/7/06
- 5/7/06 - 5/14/06
- 5/21/06 - 5/28/06
- 5/28/06 - 6/4/06
- 6/4/06 - 6/11/06
- 6/11/06 - 6/18/06
- 6/18/06 - 6/25/06
- 6/25/06 - 7/2/06
- 7/2/06 - 7/9/06
- 7/9/06 - 7/16/06
- 7/16/06 - 7/23/06
- 7/23/06 - 7/30/06
- 7/30/06 - 8/6/06
- 8/6/06 - 8/13/06
- 8/13/06 - 8/20/06
- 8/27/06 - 9/3/06
- 9/3/06 - 9/10/06
- 9/10/06 - 9/17/06
- 9/17/06 - 9/24/06
- 9/24/06 - 10/1/06
- 10/1/06 - 10/8/06
- 10/8/06 - 10/15/06
- 10/15/06 - 10/22/06
- 10/29/06 - 11/5/06
- 11/5/06 - 11/12/06
- 11/12/06 - 11/19/06
- 11/26/06 - 12/3/06
- 12/10/06 - 12/17/06
- 12/17/06 - 12/24/06
- 12/24/06 - 12/31/06
- 1/21/07 - 1/28/07
- 1/28/07 - 2/4/07
- 2/4/07 - 2/11/07
- 2/11/07 - 2/18/07
- 2/18/07 - 2/25/07
- 3/4/07 - 3/11/07
- 3/18/07 - 3/25/07
- 3/25/07 - 4/1/07
- 4/1/07 - 4/8/07
- 4/8/07 - 4/15/07
- 4/15/07 - 4/22/07
- 4/22/07 - 4/29/07
- 4/29/07 - 5/6/07
- 5/6/07 - 5/13/07
- 5/20/07 - 5/27/07
- 6/3/07 - 6/10/07
- 6/17/07 - 6/24/07
- 6/24/07 - 7/1/07
- 7/15/07 - 7/22/07
- 7/22/07 - 7/29/07
- 7/29/07 - 8/5/07
- 8/5/07 - 8/12/07
- 8/12/07 - 8/19/07
- 8/19/07 - 8/26/07
- 9/9/07 - 9/16/07
- 9/16/07 - 9/23/07
- 9/30/07 - 10/7/07
- 10/7/07 - 10/14/07
- 10/14/07 - 10/21/07
- 10/21/07 - 10/28/07
- 10/28/07 - 11/4/07
- 11/18/07 - 11/25/07
- 12/9/07 - 12/16/07
- 12/23/07 - 12/30/07
- 12/30/07 - 1/6/08
- 1/6/08 - 1/13/08
- 1/13/08 - 1/20/08
- 1/20/08 - 1/27/08
- 1/27/08 - 2/3/08
- 2/3/08 - 2/10/08
- 2/10/08 - 2/17/08
- 2/17/08 - 2/24/08
- 2/24/08 - 3/2/08
- 3/2/08 - 3/9/08
- 3/9/08 - 3/16/08
- 3/16/08 - 3/23/08
- 3/23/08 - 3/30/08
- 3/30/08 - 4/6/08
- 4/6/08 - 4/13/08
- 4/13/08 - 4/20/08
- 4/20/08 - 4/27/08
- 4/27/08 - 5/4/08
- 5/11/08 - 5/18/08
- 5/18/08 - 5/25/08
- 6/8/08 - 6/15/08
- 6/15/08 - 6/22/08
- 6/22/08 - 6/29/08
- 7/20/08 - 7/27/08
- 9/14/08 - 9/21/08
Credits
Play Poker Online at Full Tilt Poker
Learn, Chat, and Play with the Pros at the fastest growing Online Poker Room.
Learn, Chat, and Play with the Pros at the fastest growing Online Poker Room.
design by maystar
powered by blogger
Syndicate this site
Poker Cheating - Worried about online poker cheating Bill has the inside scoop on the tricks used to cheat online.
Online Poker : Visit Dr. Pauly at Tao of Poker for the best written journal on Poker Around. From on-line poker rooms to off-line live tournament coverage including the WSOP.
Texas Hold'em - The Pokerati Blog – DanM and his team cover all aspect of Texas Hold'em from the great state of Texas including Texas poker laws and poker interviews.
Las Vegas : The Poker Prof's Las Vegas and Poker Blog is the goto stop for people who come to Sin city to hit the tournaments and poker rooms. From the World Poker Tour to the World Series if it's big poker in Vegas it's blogged here. Home to the Prof's Las Vegas Links Directory.
Now blogging
live
From NYC and Beyond
From NYC and Beyond
Utilities Provided By
RSS Feed
