random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Thursday, July 01, 2004

What�s Wrong With You People?

First of all, can we just all agree to understand that despite Maria Sharapova�s natural good looks and long legs, she is nowhere near the smoldering sex kitten that is Anna Kournikova? I know it�s the natural inclination of our media to find the �next� something or someone, just like Grant Hill, Jerry Stackhouse, Vince Carter and Kobe Bryant were all the �next� Michael Jordan, but there is absolutely no case to be made that Sharapova is remotely close to being as blisteringly hot as Kournikova.

I�m just going to come right out and say it: There may not be a more perfect looking woman on this planet than Anna Kournikova. Certainly, in the discussion you�d have to include Laetitia Casta (Victoria�s Secret model) and maybe Rebecca Romijin-Stamos, but there�s a reason men rabidly scour the internet for pictures of Kournikova while Sharapova hasn�t seen modeling contracts.

And no, it�s not because Sharapova just wants to be a tennis player.

Now, I said Kournikova is �perfect looking,� and I�m not sure that�s up for dispute. But when you factor personality and reputation into the equation, she takes a major tumble down the list. There are �hotter� and �sexier� women than Anna out there, but if you take basic factors (attractive face, long hair, athletic � yet shapely and feminine � physique) into account, good luck trumping her.

Speaking of female athletes, I�m really tired of the NBA shoving the WNBA down the throats of basketball fans. Women�s sports will never have more than niche interest in this country for a couple of reasons. First, they�re not entertaining. I don�t care what the so-called �basketball purist� says about the below-the-rim game being more �fundamental� than the NBA game. I�m not buying it. The dichotomy between the amazing athleticism of Amare Stoudamire and any of the WNBA�s power forward counterparts is staggering. Secondly, I don�t believe the casual male sports fan has any interest in generally non-attractive women in competition. We�re a sad lot, sure, but I would bet a weekly 3AM lingerie pillow fight buried on an obscure cable channel would get better live ratings than a 4PM Sunday WNBA playoff game.

Now, the Olympics and the Women�s World Cup prove those explanations wrong, but what you have there is the interest generated by these athletes representing their country. If another Mary Lou Retton or Kerri Strug story comes out of the Olympics, great. But if the WNBA or the women�s pro soccer league has a story on par with the Willis Reed playing through injury situation? No one would ever notice.

Are sports important for young women? Without question. Building self-esteem, competitive spirit, and learning good sportsmanship are all benefits that boys historically have gotten from sports that girls are just starting to receive on the playgrounds and soccer fields. And while it�s a noble thought to give these little girls (and high school girls, and competitive college athletes) an opportunity to see athletic women with whom they can identify on TV, it just isn�t working. The fact remains: no one � not even women � watches this stuff.

You know what I�m fascinated by though? It�s no secret that women�s sports have an extremely high lesbian participation level. Whether it�s the LPGA, college basketball, high school field hockey, or the WNBA, there are a lot of lesbians on the playing field.

What fascinates me is that no one ever talks about the locker room dynamic that exists in women�s sports. I�m not talking about wondering about all the lurid things that could happen behind closed doors. What I mean is that I�m confident that openly gay and straight athletes couldn�t coexist peacefully in men�s locker rooms. Does subtracting the male machismo dynamic in these women�s locker rooms allow the straight women to shrug off their teammate�s orientation? Or do the sheer numbers of lesbians (I would bet some � not all � WNBA teams have a majority of lesbians on the roster) in women�s sports just make it something common and usual for the straight athlete? And beyond the locker room, the WNBA and LPGA have enormous lesbian followings. Is it uncomfortable for a reasonably attractive straight athlete in sports to run the lesbian groupie gauntlet?

Yes, these are the things I think about.

One more note on the title topic, and hopefully my last birthday related post until June 2005� At no time over the past two weekends did I blow out a candle on anything. Actually, no one bought or prepared for me anything resembling a birthday cake, or in my tradition, a turtle ice cream pie. What�s wrong with people? I don�t get a birthday cake?

I got gypped.

[>>]posted at 5:41 PM by BG - click to email
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