Ring the Alarm
Man, am I having fun blogging today.
Actually, there’s a sincere possibility that my blogging volume goes up over the next few weeks to few months, as I’m entering what is a likely 90 day lull in my job that will topple over into the new year. Not only do I get a lull, but the last two weeks in December will basically be me in an empty building at my desk for eight hours without an incoming phone call to worry about.
So blogging then becomes my only outlet. Especially when
Al goes on vacation.
You guys are going to be royally sick of me, if you’re not already.
I met one of my suppliers’ contacts for the first time today, after a few months of infrequent phone conversations. She looked nothing at all like her voice. From hearing her on the phone I had assumed she was older, bigger, and ugly. On the contrary, she was actually a fairly good looking girl about my age.
So, as is the case every time I see a girl with about a dozen years of my age in public, I gave her a quick “Would I?” once-over in my head.
I had to pass. Her voice is probably best described by the adjective
squirrelly, and I don’t think there’s any conceivable chance that I could have a 30 minute phone conversation with her, let alone the hours and hours women seem to demand on the phone at the onset of a new relationship.
Not to mention the bedroom talk wouldn’t sound quite right.
So, let’s go over my list of pre-requisites one more time, just so I can make sure we’re all on the same page.
1) Must not have a squirrelly voice
2) Must be able to spell, not be confused by homophones, and use reasonably proper grammar
3) Must be able to laugh at terribly inappropriate jokes and absurd humor
4) Must be able to eat a meal like a human being and not like Tracey Gold or Karen Carpenter
5) Must not have controlling mother
6) Must be OK with gambling
7) Must have a job and no expectations of one-sided support
8) Must be able to hold down one side of a conversation (corollary – Must be able to hold down one side of a conversation without faking it and proving you don’t really know what you’re talking about)
9) Must have a modicum of self-confidence
10) Must have a smile I enjoy seeing
Really, that’s about it. Am I asking for too much? I don’t think so.
By the way, most of these are pre-reqs I’ve had my whole life. I added #1 today, and added #5 and #7 because of the ex-wife. #6 is fairly recent too.
As far as the “terribly inappropriate jokes” thing is concerned, for anyone joining us out in Vegas wondering what I’m talking about, have
Bob tell his awful joke about what’s on his porch.