random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

And Knowing is Half the Battle�

I learned my lesson on Valentine�s Day, and as a result, there�s no fucking way I�m sitting through three hours of various women celebrating their cellulite.

Congratulations, you�re fat. Well, I�m chubby too. Let�s go have a pizza and celebrate.

Actually, it�s only a 90 minute show but it costs $81.25 to get in. You know how many Ho Hos that�d buy?

Speaking of Ho Hos, Star Jones got married this weekend. SNL did a nice little rip on her this weekend, portraying her husband as a lavender turtleneck wearing fancyboy who almost let it slip that she was in for the �Reality TV Surprise of her Life!�

Man, I�d have laughed my balls off if that were true.

I was also reading today a really great eulogy of sorts at Salon.com for Ol� Dirty Bastard. Written by Pete L�Official (if that is, in fact, your real name), it basically reiterates some of the points I made in the comments widget in my ODB post from Sunday. Regardless, just wanted to share a few snippets:

�Outrageous. Unpredictable. Deranged, possibly. Irresponsible, certainly. But I don't care what anybody says. Ol' Dirty Bastard was avant-garde as hell�

As a performer, he was our raging, amphetamined id whose "non-style" of sorts reminds me of a classic James Brown lyric: "I don't know karate, but I know c-razy." O.D.B. knew crazy. He was the personification of the phrase "I just don't give a fuck" long before Eminem had any claim to it�

Say what you want to say about O.D.B. He certainly would have said whatever the fuck he wanted to say about you. Perhaps his is a case where person and persona were too tightly wrapped up within one another; one certainly fed off the other, for better or worse. A lot of his behavior was pretty indefensible, but the energy and eccentricity he brought to hip-hop will be missed -- and nearly impossible to replace -- as a result of his tragically young death. He would have been 36 years old Monday.

In the comments the other day, �Jeff� wrote, �This guy was a lowlife. He had a baker's dozen of kids that he completely dodged responsibility for. He somehow got on welfare despite all the money he was pulling in. They filmed him cashing a welfare check. He negated what talent he had by acting like an idiot.�

That comment still bugs me (sorry Jeff). I can acknowledge that ODB was hardly a role model. But �negated what talent he had by acting like an idiot� is problematic.

I think � and I don�t think I�m wrong � that compared to many rappers that talk about �the streets,� or �the game,� or living a fast life, ODB�s honesty in his work actually makes his behavior less problematic to me. I mean, the phrase �keeping it real� can mean so many things. What it generally doesn�t mean though is portraying yourself having Cuban connections to the drug game and driving E Class Benzes wearing iced out platinum jewelry, if you�re still sleeping on your mom�s couch until your album takes off.

At bare minimum, Ol� Dirty Bastard had the good sense to be just that. An old dirty bastard. He�s not the only guy to have out-of-wedlock children (I�m not negating Shawn Kemp�s athletic brilliance in the early 90s, for instance). He�s not the only person to ever abuse the welfare system (and I challenge you to prove that he � or his children � didn�t qualify for those food stamps). He may have been the first, but hasn�t been the last person to get thrown in jail in California for wearing a bulletproof vest (against the law, and yes he was the first).

But he did have one incredibly admirable thing going for him in his life. An individualistic approach to his craft that couldn�t be duplicated, and could only work with jaw-dropping honesty behind it. Yes, it�s warped and deranged stuff he�s spouting off. And no, I don�t truly believe he�s going to be �sticking pins in your head like a fucking nurse.� But compared to most of the alternatives that the record companies want us to buy (50 Cent, Nelly, Ja Rule, etc), ODB�s approach was refreshingly simple. Rhyme about what you know, not about what you think is going to sell records.

Whatever. People are entitled to their personal opinions. I just think that if we all really cared about the morality of people singing the songs we wanted to listen to, then Christian music would be the biggest selling form of music on the planet.

Which reminds me�

Churches advertise a lot out here. On my drive home, there�s a billboard that is promoting an upcoming concert by some stringy haired twentysomething dude singing acoustic praise-rock. The picture of him on there is one where he�s got the look. You know, eyes clenched, chin cocked just to the outside and up enough to try to get all of god�s grace on your face or something. I don�t know if they teach you the look at Christian Music Summer Camp, but all those guys have it.

Of course, some variations of the look include tossing the head all the way back with arms outstretched, and also the combination move of furrowing the brow with hands clenched tightly in prayer at the same time.

I don�t begrudge anyone their religious beliefs. That�s not what this is about. I�m just saying that Christian music as made by white people (and some black people as well) is trite and unimaginative. For a group of people that claims to be so inspired by the love that god chooses to shine down upon them, they certainly aren�t cashing that inspiration in at the talent window for credit now, are they? I mean, all the songs are about the same thing (Jesus is my pal), and could only appeal to the whitest of white people out there due to the staggering lack of musical risk being taken.

Music about god in general isn�t all bad. Gospel music, when done by a big old choir, can kick a lot of ass. And I challenge anyone to listen to John Coltrane�s �A Love Supreme� and not come away understanding how much Coltrane loved and respected his god.

Maybe this just confirms what I�ve thought for so many years� White people really do suck.

[>>]posted at 6:08 PM by BG - click to email
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