Multi NL Tournament Diary

1018AM - (Now playing: Miles Davis "Four," from "Four + More 1964 Live") 982 players entered in the $5/$1 NL Multi, the first multi I'm promising to take seriously, and therefore, you get this running diary.

In an effort to Feng Shui myself to victory, I've removed three weeks worth of beer cans/bottles (total count: 9) from my desk, as well as arranged all paperwork strewn about into tidy piles.

I've got the CD player loaded with Dylan (Bootleg Series Vol 2), Dylan + The Band (Before the Flood Vol 2), Velvet Underground (Disc 5, box set, with the album Loaded and extras), Miles (aforementioned), Eric Dolphy (Outward Bound), and the Kenny Burrell/John Coltrane album. Shuffle is a beautiful thing.

Five minutes now to gametime, and I'm ready to play. I'm on table 75, in seat 8 in between "JackSparrow68" and "Skullio."

Dylan ("It's Alright Ma") is singing "what else can you show me?" Let's hope I can take some cash out of this huge tournament, and show that I can swim the waters of what promises to be fishy NL Tournament waters here on PartyPoker.

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1030AM - Dealt 35 suited, tossed it away on the opening hand (from late position - seat 10 the button). Dylan singing "Farewell Angelina," and sure enough, from another table we have our first loser before I even get a chance to fold my opener. Why go all-in on hand one? I don't get it.

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1033AM - Limped in with JJ on the second hand, glad I only limped, as A59 flopped, and the "any Ace is good enough" theory is my assumption that I'm beat. Down 15 chips.

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1039AM - (now playing: VU "The Ocean") First All-in on a pretty tight table bounced a QQ99 hand to a 77799 boat. "Skullio" is bounced. I get dealt 55 in the big blind, and check and fold my way past the flop with overcards galore hitting.

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1044AM - (now playing: Dylan/Band "Highway 61") Just took my first pot, dealt A8d on the button, flopped an 834 rainbow, bet mildly, when the turn showed a J, I bet out again and caused folds all around and picked myself up to 1030 from the 955 I started the hand with.

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1049AM (now playing: Dolphy "Miss Toni") Took a real healthy pot with a K high flush. I was one card from the royal (the Ace). Next hand was dealt a pair of Jacks, and made my set with a flush draw on the board. Fortunately, the board paired Aces to give me a boat, and in two hands I go from 1030 to 2700. Nice!

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1054AM - (np: VU "I'll Be Your Mirror") Checked Q4o from the BB into a Q47 flop. With a flush draw on the board on the river, I'm guessing my two pair will hold and it does. +150 in a lightly bet, heads-up from the flop pot.

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1058AM - (np: "Big Paul" by Burrell/Trane) It only took 28 minutes for 200 players to bounce out. Let's hope that streak continues. I'm our table's big stack at 2850 right now.

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1105AM - (still "Big Paul") Sadly, just got moved to a new table where my 2575 is no longer the big stack. Still top three though. By the way, top 70 pays...

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1117AM - (np: Dolphy "245") Was dealt suited slick, flopped top pair and four flush against only one competitor, a short stack. I checked the flop after he did, and sure enough he went all in (355, when he was already in 200 from my preflop raise). I hit a river King and made a good two pair. At 3110, still third on the table after bouncing him out (he showed pocket twos, by the way). Average stack now is in the 1550 range, so I'm double average. I like my position right now.

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1124AM - (np: Dolphy - "GW") Was dealt an offsuit slick, and raised 200 with only the big stack following me in. Flop came J64 rainbow, and I checked. He bet 500 (pot was 425). I folded. I'm confident I was just pushed off my bet there, and it was 50/50 I had the best hand. I'm now 4th stack on the table with 2885. 400 players have been eliminated.

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1130AM - (np: VU "Who Loves The Sun" - I love this damn song) - The first break is upon us, and we're down nearly half the players from the tournament (532 remain from 982). I'm at 2810 after folding through two blinds, and am still fourth stack on the table. At least at this juncture there's no stack under 1200, as those short stacks can wreak a lot of havoc with a tight player's game.

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(more to come)

Part II of Tournament Diary

1136AM (np: VU "Train Comin' Round The Bend") First hand off break saw JTs and saw the flop for 200 with two others. Flop hits J55 rainbow, and I am last to act. I bet, they fold, I'm up 400 on this pot.

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1138AM - (np: Dolphy "Les") Pocket 66 makes the devil's set on the flop, but no one will see my 275 bet from late position. Too aggressive? Maybe, but I'm not letting someone draw out. I'm back to second on the table's chip count with 3560.

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1145AM - (np: Dylan "Tangled Up In Blue") Resisted temptation to play a suited hammer from late position, and would have made a flush. Dammit. Don't mess with the hammer! I am down a bit after trying to bluff another off the pot. I (correctly) put him on top pair bad kicker, and when the board paired (which also made three flush), I went after it. He wasn't buying, I went down 650 on that hand. 2860 right now, and with a new couple of players at the table, I'm fifth in chip position at the table. And only 600 over the average stack.

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1150AM - (np: Dylan/Band "Like A Rolling Stone") Moment of truth... Pocket JJ with 888 on the board, and I'm all in against big stack. He's thinking... and folds to me sending my stack to 3910. He could have tried to send me home, but I was going to make him PAY to see an overcard on that hand.

By the way, have you ever had that moron moment on PartyPoker where you mouseover a player's name and see where he's from, notice he's from where you say you're from, and then look and notice you just moused over your own name? And got excited about nothing for a minute?

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1201PM (np: VU "Some Kind Of Love") I just got moved to table #1, where I'm the second stack, but only 600 off the big stack. Well, now 1100 after a poorly timed bluff. But 3360 isn't a bad place to be at this table. With 328 players remaining, looks like I made the top third of the tournament.

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1208PM (np: VU "Sad Song") The average stack just caught up to me, and the big stack on our table bounced two on one hand, doubling up to 9250. Ugh!

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1211PM (np: Dylan/Band "All Along The Watchtower") Was dealt 33 on the button, and raised (BB200) to 600. One caller. Shit. Flop 778, he checks, I bet 800. He calls. Shit again. He goes all in with a 6 on the turn. I fold. I'm now at 2060. I get dealt 88 in late position, and raise again. 579 flops, and I'm debating all-in. I did it. Pocket KK for my competitor, and I'm bounced in 261st place.

Two hands, two questionable plays, and I'm bounced.

Oddly, Dylan/Band "I Shall Be Released" is what's on. Released from the rest of this game, that's about right...

815AM, and I need a nap…

Fellow poker blogger and new poker professional Lord G looks to be joining my raid on someone else’s home game this weekend.

A guy in my regular home game’s boss is trying to line up 20 players for a NL Hold ‘Em tournament this weekend. $20 buy-in, and it’s probably going to be winner take all. Here’s what the guy from my home game said about this game this weekend:

”It’ll be mostly people I work with, and I’ve played with them in nickel and dime games over the past few months. They normally play dealer’s choice with a lot of wild cards. I told them a few weeks ago that if I was going to keep coming to play with them, that they’d have to change their game to Hold ‘Em. So my boss is throwing this at his house. Just to warn you though, there’s going to be some people who know what they’re doing, some people who only kinda know what they’re doing, and quite a few people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing.”

Now, I probably should have tried to milk this game myself, but if you’ve been reading me over these past couple of months you can probably tell that I’m looking for more competition than what my home game is providing.

Don’t get me wrong, I like winning money. But I don’t really have a good grasp as to how my game stacks up, and I really can’t believe PartyPoker is a good indicator.

So, thanks to the magic of Blog, it looks like Lord G and his friend are going to join me this weekend, making this the second Poker Blogger Home Game of record.

Of course, I’m sure we’ll both give you all a rundown on Monday. I’m betting I’m as good as dead money to these guys, but the only way you’re going to improve is to improve the level of competition, right?

I mentioned that I needed a nap.

My dog is sick again. He’s had massive diarrhea problems since early yesterday evening, and went again at about 3AM – a bloody mess (in the literal, not the British, sense) all over the carpet.

It took me nearly an hour to get it clean.

And I just couldn’t get back to sleep.

Thankfully, I have doggie-Pepto still left over from the last vet visit, and I’m hoping he’ll be OK today on his own. I feel guilty for leaving him alone all day, but I did have a talk with my boss about time off yesterday, and there’s no way I’m asking to leave early to go home to take care of my dog.

Even though it’s 830AM, and I’m totally running on fumes.

Add/Subtract

Ten Decisions I’d Make If I Ruled The World For A Day

1. SUBTRACT - I would abolish the use of pennies entirely, as well as preventing the use of personal checks for anything except paying bills. Purchases at retail outlets must be made on a debit card, credit card, or with cash. There’s nothing more irritating than being behind a woman at the supermarket who waits for the cashier to announce the total before she dives into her purse to rummage for her checkbook, goes back in for a pen, and then needs to produce the proper ID to validate her identity. Run your stupid debit card through the reader!
2. ADD - I would mandate that the USA Network be forced to bring back the “Up All Night” movies on Friday and Saturday nights, and at least one of those movies per weekend needs to be an Andy Sedaris movie, or something soft-core with the appropriate editing. I think today’s youth deserve the “Up All Night” movies.
3. SUBTRACT - If I were in charge, even for a minute, one order I’d hand down would decree chewing tobacco completely illegal. Those who rail on smoking as a “filthy habit” have obviously never seen someone spitting into a clear 20 oz pop bottle for an hour.
4. ADD - A la carte channel selection on digital cable would be mandatory. The cable company would have a “basic” package that was your choice of any 200 channels for $60/month. For every 25 channels added beyond that, you would pay an additional $25. But the customer could get the goddamn Horseracing TV channel if he (I) wanted it.
5. SUBTRACT - Restrictive gambling laws would be rolled back slightly. Any establishment that provided gaming, with the exception of simple lottery and restaurant Keno games, could provide a full-service gaming experience. Horses, sports, casino games, and slots. I’m not talking about opening the door to MORE gaming establishments, but giving the current ones an opportunity to expand.
6. ADD - I would add one more three day weekend to the Federally mandated schedule of holidays in this country, which would fall in early March. As it is now, with many people not getting either Good Friday or MLK Day off, they go from New Year’s to Memorial Day without a legit three day weekend. I’m putting another one on the schedule.
7. SUBTRACT - Unless someone can make a case to the contrary, I don’t believe for a second that it costs the phone company any more money if I call across the street or across the country. The infrastructure is in place. Long distance charges should be abolished.
8. ADD - Added to the idea of “tuition reimbursement” in the workplace, which in my world would be mandatory for salaried/full-time workers, would be the ability to use “tuition reimbursement” funds that weren’t used for schooling for “sabbatical/enrichment” purposes. Once every ten years, if you haven’t used “tuition reimbursement” funds, you were granted access to a three week paid vacation on top of other vacation you had, and could have the company reimburse you for travel and lodging expenses to take a sabbatical.
9. SUBTRACT - I would mandate that ten baseball teams, six NBA teams, and twelve hockey teams would be disbanded and their players disbursed in a draft. I would also mandate salary caps in each sport, which would have to be constructed somewhat like what the NFL has in place. There would be no guaranteed contracts (like the NFL), but there would be a pension plan for retired athletes. I think I’d be likely to find baseball interesting again if parity existed.
10. ADD - The last thing I would add to make the world better, and this ties in with number two, is really quite simple. More women-in-prison movies. The basic plot should always involve a girl from Kansas who goes to Los Angeles to find her sister, who went out to become a model but disappeared. The girl figures out there’s something shady going on, and finds out her sister has been sent to “prison,” which isn’t really prison, but a training house for slaves to be sold. So the girl “gets arrested” and goes undercover into the prison to try to find her sister, who is already under the spell of the hot-but-sadistic-lesbian warden. The girl befriends a male guard, falls in love, but still has to make out with everyone from fellow prisoners to the warden to get close to her sister. Is there anything better than a good women-in-prison movie?

What Am I Doing?

It took me less than 10 hands to tilt last night. I hopped on the $25 PL game on PartyPoker, and almost immediately went up $15. I got bounced by the rickety old PC I’m using now, and logged back in and found a new table.

First hand I get dealt is A6 suited. I raise $2 and four of seven follow. I do hit one club on the flop, but no pair, and it’s checked to me one off of late position. I bet out $2 and three of four follow.

Turn hits neither a club nor a pair card. Again, it’s checked to me, but instead of check/folding, I try for a steal, dumping $5 in. I get raised all-in by someone bumping it another $3.

Like an idiot, holding absolutely nothing I call. So does one other.

River hits, another blank for me, and I am checked to, and I lead him in $4, which he calls.

I’m an idiot.

Every click of the mouse brings an internal scream of “Don’t bet out! You don’t have it!” Sure enough, I don’t. Ace high with a Queen on the board? Please. I got nailed close to $20 just for being an idiot.

I logged right the hell off PartyPoker and didn’t get back on at all last night.

There’s no excuse for throwing money around like it doesn’t matter.

Because Iggy Was Curious

** Summary **
Main Pot: $93 | Rake: $3
Board: [ 5d Jh 3h Jc Jd ]
gs1100e balance $90, lost $4 (folded)
Boygza balance $135, bet $28, collected $93, net +$65 [ Td Js ] [ four of a kind, jacks -- Js,Jh,Jc,Jd,Td ]
stiffee1 balance $82, lost $4 (folded)
hayesmeking balance $126.50, sits out
herrman balance $85, lost $12 (folded)
klingkling19 balance $79, lost $16 (folded)
PRO_Vl balance $91, lost $4 (folded)
kenny02 balance $235.50, lost $28 [ Kd Kc ] [ a full house, Jacks full of kings -- Kd,Kc,Jh,Jc,Jd ]
carioca balance $98, didn't bet (folded)

I WON WITH THE HAMMER!

***** Hand History for Game 373359503 *****
0/0 TexasHTGameTable (PL) - Wed Feb 04 21:06:46 EST 2004
Table Card Room Table 4106 (Real Money) -- Seat 8 is the button
Total number of players : 5
Seat 1: stogs24 ( $45.70)
Seat 4: ndc189 ( $19.25)
Seat 5: Boygza ( $23.75)
Seat 6: gunman ( $47.75)
Seat 8: sangkuch ( $38.20)
stogs24 posts small blind (0.25)
ndc189 posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Boygza [ 7s, 2d ]
Boygza calls (0.50)
gunman raises (1) to 1
sangkuch folds.
stogs24 folds.
ndc189 calls (0.50)
Boygza calls (0.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ Ts, 2s, As ]
ndc189 checks.
Boygza bets (2)
gunman calls (2)
ndc189 folds.
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 7d ]
Boygza bets (3)
gunman calls (3)
** Dealing River ** : [ 5d ]
Boygza bets (5)
gunman folds.
** Summary **
Main Pot: $17.60 | Rake: $0.65
Board: [ Ts 2s As 7d 5d ]
stogs24 balance $45.45, lost $0.25 (folded)
ndc189 balance $18.25, lost $1 (folded)
Boygza balance $30.35, bet $11, collected $17.60, net +$6.60 [ 7s 2d ] [ two pairs, sevens and twos -- As,7s,7d,2d,2s ]
gunman balance $41.75, lost $6 (folded)
sangkuch balance $38.20, didn't bet (folded)
Boygza: HAMMER!

No Lottery Win, No Community Bagels in the Break Room…

Apparently, it’s not my day.

It was my night on PartyPoker last night, where I spent about 30 minutes playing $2/$4, ending up 6BB for my session. In the first orbit I dropped $30, but made it back holding the best hand I’ve ever been dealt online or off.

I had JTo in the big blind, and saw a pre-flop raise with a bunch of others. The flop came J33. Again, one raise before it got to me, which I called.

The turn gave me the boat. Another J. I bet into the pot from my early seat, and was raised twice (!) around the board, which I gladly re-raised, which was called around by two others.

The river? Yep, it was the fourth J. I bet out, and was raised and re-raised by the guy who was probably holding a nice pocket pair, thinking he had made a better boat than what I had potentially in the pocket.

Nope. I raked a $93 pot, and went from $30 down to $34 up in one hand. I would have loved to have known what he had. But I don’t think he really saw the quad jacks coming.

I actually worked my stack up to +$54, but staying in to try to land two consecutive possible straight flushes whittled me down a little bit. But hey, when you ram and jam, them’s the breaks.

Biting the Bullet

I bought my computer today.

Today was the last day of two offers at Dell, one for free shipping, one for $100 off on certain low-end models.

My only dilemma was figuring out whether to pick up a desktop or a laptop.

The desktop was $280 cheaper, but I would have had to definitely buy a desk and chair, which would have been at minimum $150 combined. The laptop gives me the flexibility to go wireless if I want to, and believe me, I want to.

I got the laptop.

$699 out the door (with tax) got me a brand new Dell, 2.4GHz processor, 20GB hard drive, DVD ROM drive, and that makes me happy. The only thing I’m disappointed in is that I really couldn’t afford to add MS Office, but I figure there’s got to be something I can use on the computer to open up Word Docs, right?

I’m still not done

So now I’m reading that the FCC is investigating the whole Super Bowl halftime show for indecency standards.

What?

The boob-shot aside, what was “indecent” about it?

This is political grandstanding, plain and simple. Take something all of America saw, make a big deal out of it, and continue to point to this “investigation” through the campaign to prove you’re doing something about making the world safe for families again.

I’m aghast that the government has taken this as far as they have. This is the type of wasteful bullshit posturing that has just got to stop. Put this energy into coming up with a solution for retraining all the workers this economy is displacing out of the manufacturing sector. Channel this money into programs to insure that the arts are taught in school. Spend your time looking for Bin Laden.

My god, you see worse stuff on CSI than you did on the halftime show. Stop it. Just stop it right now before this embarrasses us any further as a country.

Do you know anyone famous update

I just remembered that I know someone famous. Well, he’s more than famous, he’s infamous.

Back in 1991, a woman was advised by her doctor that she was so damaged internally from having as many children as she had (at least six), that she should get her tubes tied to prevent the next pregnancy that would have killed her and the baby.

She had the procedure.

The husband, upon finding out she had done this without his permission, got angry.

Not just angry, strap a bomb to your chest and grab all your shotguns angry. You see, it’s god’s order to Mormons to have as many kids as possible, and this guy was incensed that his wife would go against god’s will.

Richard Worthington, my former Scoutmaster for the two years I was in Boy Scouts, shot and killed a nurse on the way into the medical center, looking to kill the doctor who had given his wife potentially life-saving advice earlier that year. Worthington took hostages, including pregnant women, at the office for a couple of days and had a dramatic standoff with police.

Aside from the nurse who he killed, no one else was injured when Worthington surrendered to police.

Harry Hamlin played him in the TV movie “Take Down.” He wore a powder blue “It’s a Boy” cap through the movie.

I knew Rick, and I knew his sons pretty well. He is easily the most famous person I know.

This link brought me a lot of joy...

Not remotely safe for work. Mouse over the picture to see what I'm talking about.

Don't forget to right click and choose "Zoom In" a couple of times too.

Tao of Poker: "I only had a few confirms when I made the list! I did not mean to offend anyone if I left them off the list. So guys, here you go... the new and revised version of the Grubster Poker Classic.

The Fat Guy 3-1
Felicia 4-1
Grubby 4-1
The Penguin 4-1
Iggy 4-1
HDouble 9-2
Lord Geznikor 9-2
Royal 9-2
Ed from Openers 9-2
Boy Genius 9-2
Chris Halverson 5-1
London Froggy 6-1
Pauly 10-1
Tight Pocket 30-1 (his odds!!)


I dunno who else is playing? When I get a full roster, I'll sit down with HDouble and we'll figure it all out. But alas, after humble HDouble suggested he wasn't the favorite, my money is now on The Fat Guy! Why? He's from Texas... and we're playing Texas Hold'em... and as one of my ex-girlfriends (a spitfire of a gal from central Texas) once said in her adorable drawl... 'Paw-leeeee, don't even think about messin' with Texas!!' "

Nilla please. 9-2 to win? I'm at least a 10-1 shot. At least. I play by instinct, and have only played for about eight months. 10-1 is about right...

Gambling Blues on hiatus?

If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, check your newspapers for the 29 year old Michigan man who walked away with the $85M Mega Millions jackpot. If you need to find me over the next couple of weeks, you can look for me from 9A-5P (PST) at the Las Vegas Hilton’s race book, and from 5P on somewhere playing $10/$20 Limit on the strip.

Just so’s you know.

It was a rough day for the people who orbit my world yesterday. So I drank away the sorrows of others by killing a whole bottle of Coppola Rosso, a nice $12 value red I grabbed this weekend at the grocery store. On the same trip where I picked that out, K was also looking to grab a bottle or two and was looking for a recommendation. As she’s on a much tighter budget than I am, I suggested the Yellow Tail Shiraz and Shiraz/Cab that were both on sale for $6 a bottle.

I don’t know what it is about the Yellow Tail brand, but my initial reaction is to not want to like it. I think that when it comes to wine I’d rather shop some of the smaller “boutique” labels, and then be really proud of myself when I “find” something unique that is really good.

I don’t want to like a wine that you can pick up at a 7-11.

That being said, I happen to think Yellow Tail has put together a pretty darn good mass market bottle of red, particularly with their Shiraz. It’s not “knock it out of the park” good, but it’s extremely drinkable and much better than most of the $10 bottles from vintners like Glen Ellen and Mondavi (their lower priced stuff at least).

I continue to be impressed with the flavor and character of wines from places like Chile, Argentina, and Australia. As I’m normally stuck in my Italian red rut, it’s always nice to find something likeable from another area of the world.

So I mentioned it was a rough day for the people in my neighborhood. Twenty-five years of service to a company isn’t worth a whole hell of a lot when you’re the number three guy on the food chain, numbers one and two are brothers, and the company is hemorrhaging both money and customers to cheaper Mexican and Chinese competitors. Twenty-five years of service, including being personally responsible for the most profitable years (the early 90s) the company has ever seen, doesn’t get you early retirement. It doesn’t get you a buyout package.

It gets my dad twelve weeks of pay, so long as he signs this contract promising he won’t sue the brothers, and he won’t take their business to a competitor.

Assholes.

K had a rough day at work yesterday as well, and called me twice during my day to talk about it. While it’s too bad that she had a stressful Monday, I like that her instinct was to call me and bitch about it. Nice.

For reasons I’m not getting into, my brother was lucky he wasn’t anywhere near me yesterday, as I would have gleefully wrapped a fungo bat around his neck if given the opportunity. He’s awfully good at sharing information with people it shouldn’t get back to, and after twenty three years of being his brother, you’d think I would have learned my lesson and would know when to just shut the hell up about my thoughts about personal issues. Apparently not.

And although Bob might as well be made out of Teflon, it’s never easy to be in a sales job where a good portion of your territory has been scaled back for various reasons. Especially when your performance is measured by market share increases. He’ll be fine ultimately. In that, I have no doubt.

One more thing concerning my dad. I feel like I polluted the cosmic balance of his circumstance just a little bit this weekend. Over dinner on Friday K and I had a long debate over why I’m not casting a vote for President this year. My perspective is that I can’t bring myself to vote Republican, but I believe that Republican economic policy is what this country needs over the next few years to make sure companies within our borders can continue to grow and innovate to keep them competitive in the world market.

The price of being part of the world economy is that manufacturing is going to continue to move to Mexico and China, which is going to create a veritable chasm between our lower class and the middle class. Unfortunately, I believe that this is an inevitability, and that if we continue to hold on to the ideal of American-based manufacturing, we’re going to eventually be the big bloated dinosaur on the block, and the much cheaper products from Japan, Germany, and other countries – manufactured in China and Mexico – will eclipse ours in the marketplace and cause the decline of our economy.

So I spent Saturday night arguing for shipping jobs to China and Mexico, which is basically and ultimately why a company like the one my dad spent twenty five years working for had to let him go on Monday.

By the way, how much does it excite me that I can have an engaging half hour debate at a pizza joint with a girl about economic theory?

Let’s Get Grubby!

Big thanks, mad props, whatever is his due all goes to Grubs for getting this Blogger NL Tourney set up. This is by far the coolest poker thing I’ll have been a part of.

And yes, that means you can count me in.

I’m going to play my usual SNG strategy of going “all-in” on the first hand, which never works, but will one of these days.

I kid, I kid…

Although I’d much rather be playing some or all of the bloggers face-to-face, this will definitely be a lot of fun. I expect a high level of table talk, and hope I make it to at least the middle of the pack, if not higher.

I’ll have to make sure I bring my patience with me, as I tend to reach the “what the hell” point much more quickly online than I do in my home game. I’ll grind the crap out of a NL game at home if that’s what it takes to win. In almost every online SNG or multi I’ve played online, I reach a point where I just get tired of hanging around, and throw my chips in the pot with something unspectacular.

But I know that vanity and ego will ensure I bring my A game and my patience to the table. I’m definitely averse to giving all of you more seasoned poker bloggers any reason to criticize my game.

An Open Message To Lord Geznikor

I think there’s a 20 player NL game this Sunday night (2/8) with a $20 buy-in in Muskegon. One of the least fishy people I play with in my home game says it’s being held by people he works with at the restaurant. I’m guessing that he and I will get to circle like sharks and feed on the chum all night long.

I’m 75% certain that I’m in. You interested? I’d have to check to see if I can get you in, but I bet that would work out.

BG

An Open Message To The Media In The Wake Of The Super Bowl Halftime Show

If you quit talking about it, it will go away.

Thank you.

BG

So a bleeding demon is OK, but a millisecond of boob launches an investigation?

FCC Chairman Michael Powell has pledged a “full investigation” into the boob incident.

This, of course, is in the wake of Powell’s angry comments over Bono dropping the F-Bomb at an awards show.

Two points that bear mentioning. First, doesn’t our government have anything better on which to spend it’s money? I think if you polled, oh, say 250 million Americans and asked them, “Would you rather the government spent $10M and two months of bureaucratic posturing on an investigation over a brief boob on TV, or $10M on a program that gives blankets to the homeless in the Midwest and Northeast in this cold winter?” I think you might get something like an overwhelming majority choosing the blankets.

It’s only a big deal because you’re making it a big deal. It’s only a big deal because you won’t stop talking about it. It’s only a big deal because you’re choosing this incident to stand on your soapbox and decry the vulgarity of television.

My other point is one that was made on ESPN’s “Mike and Mike” by a former CBS TV executive who they interviewed on-air. If you want to get up in arms about vulgarity in the media, consider that the Super Bowl telecast, particularly the ads, contained the following:
- Children under 10 being punished for swearing, and the commercial coming just short (just short enough) of a kid saying “shit.”
- A commercial for “Van Helsing,” a movie which hasn’t even been rated yet, which features a spectacular amount of violence.
- A commercial where a horse farts
- A commercial where a dog bites a dude in the crotch
We have all of this to consider, but a one second shot of boob is what the government is mad about?

The FCC needs to find better ways to spend their time and energy. This is purely political. This posturing, not coincidentally, coincides with the biggest event on television during the year, and gives the Republicans the ammunition to get out there and have people remember how “tough” on morality in the media they have been.

OK, so I’m not done talking about halftime…

Go read the article linked just above.

Are you back? Good.

One second of “was it or wasn’t it” boob on TV was what caused sports to lose it’s purity for you?

Did the incredulousness come through in my tone? Sheesh, I hope so.

Let’s recap some of the major stories in the sports world that were unavoidable to anyone with half a glance at a newspaper over the last twelve months:

- Pete Rose finally admits to betting on baseball, then goes on to say that if he were talking to kids about gambling, drugs, or murdering people, he’d definitely advise them to gamble.
- Baylor basketball coach Dave Bliss, after the murder of one of his players, is caught on tape attempting to line up a false story his people internally can agree on, framing the murdered Patrick Dennehy as a drug dealer.
- NBA megastar Kobe Bryant is accused of rape, and his accuser’s photo and identity are splashed on the Internet and supermarket tabloids for the world to see.
- Cleveland running back William Green is stabbed by his fiancée during a heated argument at his home.
- Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman awaits possible jail time for parole violation after accusations arise that he purposefully rammed his car into the car being driven by his ex-wife and containing his infant son.
- Colorado’s varsity football program goes under internal investigation after allegations surface that recruits visiting the school are treated to sex parties featuring apparently unwilling women.
- Chemically engineered “designer steroids” come under fire for providing athletes in nearly every sport an opportunity to cheat using enhancements undetectable by standard drug tests.
- NHL star Dany Heatley wrecks his car, killing his passenger and teammate Daniel Snyder.

One could add to this list the dozens of DUI and drug related arrests, the reported cases of spousal abuse and domestic battery, the known and unknown cases of out-of-wedlock children being sired by athletes, and of course, Dennis Rodman.

And it’s a half second of breast on television which causes you to lose your innocence?

I would find it much easier to explain to little Johnny, Tommy, and Mary what it was they just saw pop out of Janet Jackson’s clothing than I would explaining to them why Kobe Bryant is on the news walking in and out of a courtroom instead of on and off a court.

In the paraphrased words of Michael Wilbon from TV’s “Pardon the Interruption,” responding to the question, “What do you tell your kids they just saw?”:

”I tell them what it is. I tell them it’s a breast, and that if they’re cool enough when they’re 17 or 18 years old, maybe they’ll get a chance to see a real one up close and personal.”

To leave a message, begin speaking at the tone…

I nitpick. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. It’s finely ingrained in my persona.

Voicemail, for instance. My question though is, “Did we get dumber over the last twenty years when it comes to leaving messages?”

”To leave a message, begin speaking at the tone. When finished, you may hang up or press pound to send and save, or press one for further options. Begin speaking at the tone.”

By my count that’s 33 words to instruct you to “wait for the beep.” Does anyone NOT know what the beep is for at this point? Is it such a difficult leap from “leaving a message on a home phone” to “leaving a message at work” that we need a verbal instruction manual to make this happen?

And who presses “1” for further options? I don’t think that I’ve ever, in my nearly ten years of working in the corporate world, pressed “1” for further options.

I swear to god we live in a “lowest common denominator” world, where corporations don’t trust us to know that the coffee is hot, that we shouldn’t drink bleach straight from the bottle (on the rocks, with a twist is my preference anyway), and they obviously think we have no idea what the beep means.

Another one that gets me that always crops up this time of year are all the income tax preparation commercials. Whether talking about H&R Block, Jackson Hewitt, or a piece of software such as TurboTax, there seems to be the same advertising theory behind their pitch as there is for the “Amazing Pasta Pot:”

Taxes are so hard! They’re going to take you half your year to complete, and who could possibly make sense of all the rules and forms? Why do them yourself, you couldn’t possibly be smart enough!

First of all, 90% of America has a W2 based return, no tangible write-offs, and no excuse for not being able to plug W2 box 1 into 1040EZ box 7. No excuse. Taxes should take ten minutes for most of America.

I understand the necessity of having an accountant if you are an extremely busy person who is self-employed, owns a dozen rental properties and a couple hundred different stocks and mutual funds, is putting six kids through college simultaneously, and has spent the last twelve months divesting themselves of all their possessions by donating them to charity.

But I’ve done my taxes, and I’ve done the taxes of someone who was self-employed. And I’m here to tell you that it’s just not that difficult. Yes, the self-employed’s taxes were not simple, but they still only took a couple of hours over a couple of days to do. Doing my own taxes off of a W2 couldn’t really be a whole lot easier. I never cease to be amused at the guy who buys a $40 TurboTax disk to use to plug his W2 information in. It’s insane.

I really just don’t get it.

It’s a lowest common denominator society. Advertisers assume we’re stupid, or just busier than we think we are, and appeal to the lazy bastard in all of us.

A Man’s Gotta Do…

How’s this for terrible?

I’ve been seeing K for a little over a month now. We’re intent on keeping things slow and casual at this point. That’s fine, I guess, as we seem to be developing a pretty good friendship and a definite mutual admiration as well. I think the lack of pressure on “moving forward” is giving us both some breathing room, and is definitely keeping us from continuously deconstructing every conversation, thought, and feeling we share into some sort of constant progress report.

In other words, it’s slow, but it’s refreshing.

I was faced with a conundrum though. Valentine’s Day is coming up. I felt like the constraints we were placing on our early relationship prevented me from coming right out and making plans with her three weeks in advance. That’s not slow, and it certainly wouldn’t be casual.

But I kinda thought that she’d be saving that Saturday for me.

I know I’m not her boyfriend, and I don’t know that the label would even be “guy I’m dating.” I think it’s more “the guy I’m kinda seeing,” which is fine, but I still thought that would give me Valentine’s Day rights.

What I wanted to do was spend the day cooking a meal with her. We both love to cook, and we could pick out a few recipes and just hang out together and cook and drink wine and eat and watch a movie or two. That’s “slow.” That’s “casual.”

But the conundrum was in the timing. I couldn’t just ask three weeks out.

(By the way, here comes the terrible part)

Well, I got trumped anyway. Saturday night, out for pizza with my brother and his fiancée, K mentioned she was going to see a play in a couple of weeks.

”The Vagina Monologues”

She asks me if I want to go, I ask her what day, and as she’s digging through her purse to find her ticket, I’m begging, praying, that it isn’t…

It couldn’t be…

8PM 2/14/04.

Fuck.

No way I’m going if it’s the 13th or the 15th. But even in a “slow and casual early relationship without pressure,” you don’t ditch the girl you’re seeing on Valentine’s Day. You suffer in silence if you have to, but you don’t want there to be a lasting memory of your first Valentine’s Day as one she spent alone while I went to the casino.

So I’m going to see “The Vagina Monologues.”

She’s lucky she’s cute, smart, and interesting. Freaking “Vagina Monologues…”

These Are The People In Your Neighborhood

Who’s the most famous person you know? By “know,” I mean someone who would say, “Oh yeah, BG, I know him!” I mean, I’ve met Jazz coach Jerry Sloan. As a matter of fact, we had lunch, but that doesn’t mean that he’d remember me.

Sadly, I think I’m the most famous person I know. And by no means am I remotely close to famous. It would either be myself or JS, who is an aide to one of the powerbrokers in the US House of Representatives, so I don’t know who between us would be more famous.

My claims to fame would be winning that Nickelodeon contest back in 1988, and then also appearing in a speaking role in a training video sold by the National Restaurant Association.

Pretty sad. Who do you know?

Miracle

Was the “Miracle On Ice” the greatest sports moment of all time?

This was a discussion I had during the game last night. I think when you weigh in all the factors - underdogs, rag-tag bunch of misfits, against our mortal enemy, transcended the sports world, unified the country – it’s hard to argue against the Miracle as the greatest sports moment of all time.

I will, however, provide a few other moments for the conversation:

- Cassius Clay beating Sonny Liston – “I shocked the world,” and the beginning of the rise of Muhammad Ali becoming the most recognizable and celebrated athlete the world has ever known.
- US Women winning the World Cup in soccer – The absolute pinnacle of women’s sports history. There will never be another moment which compares for women’s sports.
- Joe Namath backs up his guarantee with a victory in Super Bowl III – I know the commercial put it better than I will, but what this game did to integrate the AFL and NFL into a singular league, combined with how it brought attention to the Super Bowl can’t be understated. If it wasn’t for Namath, the Super Bowl wouldn’t be the “Super Bowl.”
- Terrorists murder Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics – While certainly not a “great” moment, its cultural impact transcended sports.
- Magic and the Spartans beat Larry and the Sycamores in Salt Lake City – Without Magic and Larry, March Madness would be “March Mildness.” No one would care. Just off a decade of consistent UCLA dominance of men’s basketball, the convergence of two enormous and charismatic stars from the Midwest contributed more to the growth of the NCAA Tournament as a spectacle than any other singular event.
- MJ scores 63 on the Celtics in his first trip to the playoffs – This is the moment where Jordan announced he was going to be a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs for years to come. There’s a huge difference between scoring 50 in the regular season and 50 in the playoffs. Just ask great regular season players like Bernard King and Dominique Wilkins. It was the first truly great MJ moment.

Just some thoughts, and I’m positive I left some out (Tiger blowing away the field at Augusta for his first Masters’ win, for instance). Really though, is there anything that can touch the Miracle on Ice?

What’s In BG’s Wallet?

- Blue Cross/Blue Shield card
- Voter Registration Receipt
- Hooters Lunch Punch Card – 1 punch
- Hooters Lunch Punch Card – 6 punches (together = free lunch)
- Autotote slip for the 08/04/03 8th race @ Suffolk, $2WPS on the 2 (I have no idea if it’s a winner)
- Business card for a local restaurant manager if I ever wanted to prep cook for under the table money.
- Grand Rapids PD Police Detective business card (a friend of mine)
- Blue Chip Casino - Michigan City, Indiana Prime Rewards card
- Driver’s License
- ATM/Debit Card
- $50 – 2x$20, 1x$10
- 5 EZ Pick tickets for Tuesday 02/03/04 Mega Millions Jackpot
- Pizza Coupon
- Library Card
- Northwest Airlines “World Perks” Card
- Petco PALS Card
- Eye Doctor Discount Card
- Blockbuster Card

Got a beat of the rhythm of the night / Dance until the morning light

Stupid muzak in the stupid mall getting this stupid song stuck in my head.

Such an inferior De Barge song to “Who’s Johnny?” anyway.

So I went underwear shopping at lunch. All my “good” underwear has holes in the crotch, which is a little counterproductive. My “bad” underwear was outlet mall irregular stuff, and it’s not surprising once you put it on to figure out why. It’s as if the Spandex truck didn’t show the day they made my four pair, but they kept on sewing anyway.

I bought three pair underwear and a pack of three plain white T-shirts.

$50.

And they were on sale.

Captain Chuckles, the guy ringing me up, advised me “not to wear them all at once!” I guess when you work behind a register at JC Penney at 50 years old, you’ve got to do whatever you can to keep the demons out of your head (shoot up housewares… take them all to hell…).

There’s an awful lot of hubbub today regarding the Janet Jackson loose boob shot during the halftime show yesterday. Smart money says you saw more flesh there than you did during all of the $39.95 “Lingerie Bowl.” Anyway, CBS has apologized for “the incident,” and apparently there are people all up in arms about this.

I didn’t see anything. I mean, it may as well have been pixilated and blurred. Plus, it happened so fast and from such a wide angle on camera that unless you were going over this footage like the damn Zapruder film, you were going to have the same reaction that I did after seeing it yesterday:

Did I just see boob? I don’t know, did you just see boob?

There was no boob consensus in the room.

Trust me, if there was boob to see, I would have seen it despite the relative small size of the television we were watching.

And who’s complaining about this? If you’re part of the moral decency squad and complaining about this, you’re sicker than I am because there was nothing that was obvious to see. If you blinked you missed it. And these watchdogs are enlarging the screen and wearing out the rewind on their TiVo to prove there was actually (gasp!) a boob on television.

A boob on TV. From 400 yards away. On a wide angle shot.

Pfft…