random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Friday, May 06, 2005

Hipsters

"I think every (this department) Professional should have a crayon." - Overheard just now a cubicle away.

I don't know what that was supposed to mean, but in my estimation that's excellent advice. With the knuckleheaded nature of the daily grind most of us have fallen into, it helps to have a few moments of creativity breaking up the day. I'm all for instituting recess or at least a couple of mandatory ten minute breaks in the day where the literati around the office can do a crossword, and the rest of us can maybe find ourselves breaking open a box of Crayolas and going all burnt umber on a line drawing of a sports car.

Yeah, I'm suggesting that the adult coloring book market could be a huge niche. So long as the employers of America recognize that letting us take our brains out for a walk in between filing TPS reports is actually a pretty damn good idea.

The problem with this though would be with the hipsters. You know who I'm talking about. Put second hand store clothes and Tina Fey glasses on some chick who digs bands you'll never ever hear of, and you've got Exhibit A. The thing with the hipsters is that they ruin everything that could maybe be just a little bit fun for people by glomming onto the trend and playing it for the irony.

Case in point, go read Sarah Brown's latest post regarding her "secret household shame." That shame? Going to dinner at the Olive Garden.

Now, there are plenty of reasons not to go to the Olive Garden. First, one should do everything they can to support local businesses that have been part of your community for decades. Second, eating at the Olive Garden or Applebee's tells corporate America that this global standardization effort that's underway, turning every small town in America into every other small town in America, is working. I believe you lose just a little tiny piece of your soul every time you walk into one of those joints, and you're selling whatever it is that makes your town unique down the river too.

That being said, the food really isn't as bad there as it used to be. As a matter of fact, there are some things that they do pretty damn well there, and it's no coincedence that these restaurants keep popping up all over the landscape, especially in Middle America. If it's my choice of restaurant, The OG isn't making the list. That being said, I'm not so overtly principled* that I won't eat there at all whatsoever if that's where the rest of the crew wants to go.

*(Remind me to tell you my Johnny Depp story some day)

Middle America likes its mediocrity with all-you-can-eat breadsticks on the side. You got a problem with that?

This is what hipsters do. They find something they think is mediocre, they glom on, and they enjoy the irony of their participation in things people as patently cool as they are couldn't possibly enjoy without the sideways smirking irony. Of course, in the same post from Sarah B. there's this gem - which is far more ironic than salad and breadsticks on the sly ever will be:

"You know what I hate? People who still use the word �hipster.� Just stop. When you say �hipster,� you really just mean �asshole,� so say that instead.

OK. People who think they're doing something ironic and funny when they go to dinner at the Olive Garden are assholes. Is that better?

(So since Wednesday I've taken a dump on two other bloggers. My bad.)

Back to my point - adult coloring books. It'd be fun to have some of the cartoons and TV shows from my youth re-released in coloring book form, and it'd be terrific to be given a few minutes every day at my desk to color Megatron pea green, or give David Hasselhoff as Michael Knight a John 3:16 rainbow afro. It's never going to happen though. The minute this stuff came to market, you'd have the hipst - I mean assholes - ruining it for the rest of us. The landscape would be littered with the unscrubbed vintage clothing clad dickweeds with the intentionally mussy hair and Wilco-fetishes bringing their coloring books to coffee houses and making a big deal out of nothing with a sideways smirk.

No thanks assholes.

[>>]posted at 10:30 AM by BG - click to email
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