Found Items IV - Short Stories

Challenge of the Super-Friends

By BG, Age 5 - 8/24/79

Transcribed by my mom, so spelling/grammar errors are mostly hers.

Once upon a time, there lived a doomed planed named Cripton. The man's name was Jorel and his wife was Lara. They had a super baby.

They thought they were going to be doomed!! Because they were going to be doomed, they had to send super baby to Earth!

Years after he had been sent to earth, he became Super Man! He met Batman and Robin.

The three of them went to the Hall of Justice. Superman looked through the Justice League Computer far out into outer space. With his x-ray vision he saw his own planet. And He, Batman and Robin met the Wonder Twins - Dan and Jana.

And they all went back to the Hall of Justice.

The End

(BONUS STORY FROM BOBBY BRACELET, AGE 3)

"Gleek"

Once upon a time there was a man nameed Gleek.

Gleek just didn't wanna get outa the crib cuz he was bad. He hit his dad.

That dad got him out but he wasn't bad no more.

Gleek went in their boat and drived away to the SCARY MAN.

The SCARY MAN was gone.

Gleek and his dad went to the Hall of Justice and all the Super Friends were there.

It was all done.

The End.

------------------

My Mother

(circa 1983)

My mother is great! Sometimes Sometimes she yells at me I don't care. On father's day we serve breakfast in bed but on mothers day we don't. I might serve her lunch on the sofa. On mothers day I bought her a key chain.

Tommy The Turkey

(circa 1983)

Once upon a time. There was a turkey his name is Tommy. Tommy wasn't satisfied. He wanted to be big and strong like his dad. He lifted weights. But he was too weak. So he decided to end his days. So he wrote and he wrote but his right arm was too weak! Well he did this... he got to be big and strong! The End

The present that had never been opened

(circa 1983)

(You can sense I've moved from my emo phase in the Tommy Turkey story to one of surrealistic imagery indicating hope and optimism.)

Once upon a time, there was a box. It wasn't an ordinary box. It had legs and hands! But it had a sign. It said Do Not open or feed til Xmas! Well that preseent never got open til Xmas. Nobody knwos what it was. Well it has to be a Zoqx! Xqoz!

Reviews of Board Games

(12/6/84)

MONOPOLY

Monopoly is a game that deals with money in a way that is very uninformative to people who want to learn about money.

It's objective is to buy properties and monopolize.

Not a recomendation for beginners.

BARGAIN HUNTER

Boring. Very boring.

Bargain Hunter is a game where the materials used are flashy, but the game itself is boring.

The people who made this game could have saved money if there was no credit card machine, credit cards, the spinner, all above replaced by dice, and the sheets, replaced by game owner's paper.

Label should say, "Monkeys tested still asleep!"

BIG DEAL

Fun, but pointless.

In Big Deal shares of wierd named stocks are bought and kept. The objective is to step up the ladder of money.

Fun, but pointless.

(bonus teacher feedback: Real good job on this project, (BG)! You have a neat sense of evaluation of these games - Good suggestions as to how they could have made the games better also. Your oral presentation in class was good - enjoy your humor! Keep up the good work.)

Found Items III

A long time ago, I wrote about my friend Mel (a girl, I assure you), and encourage you to click through and read that as a starting point for the rest of this post. Regardless, here's an excerpt:

The letter I have of hers is the one immediately following the breakup. The one that tells me she wants to be with me, but her heart hurts and it may take some time. The one where she tells me that she digs me too, and respects me even more than I've told her I respect her. Where she talks about coming up to see me, and how she's looking forward to seeing me when I can get home for a break soon.

This wouldn't be a letter I sigh and frown when I read nowadays, if it weren't for the fact that it only took a short time from that letter for her to give in to the boyfriend and bring him back, apologetically, into her life. If it wasn't for my idiot mentality that told me that if she's going to screw me over like that, then she wasn't worth my friendship anymore. If it wasn't for the feelings of regret I have now that she and I were quite possibly the most perfectly matched people at those individual points of our lives, and I never so much as got to kiss the girl.

My box was littered with these notes and letters. Friendships I wish I still had, girls both blowing me off and trying to bring me out of my shell.

Here, then, is an excerpt from that letter - from Mel to me, dated 10/23/92. I'm in college at the time, she's a senior in high school.

-----------

Dear (BG),

If there are tons of scribbled out words when I'm finished + I seem to jump from one subject to the next, I apologize. But I'd like to just say what's on my mind w/o a whole damn outline (which is what it usually takes for me to get a letter off).

It's about 4:00 on Friday afternoon, and I just finished reading your book that you devoted "a few minutes" to. I love letters, but yours are best. I just stand there grinning as I read. That couldn't have anything to do w/ the fact that you flatter me throughout, could it? Seriously, it great to hear from someone who cares. So it better be great to hear from me, too ('cause I DO care).

Because I haven't written, don't think I haven't been thinking about you. Please understand I needed this week of complete detachment. Oh, by the way, the first snowfall was Mon. or Tues. morning - you just missed it. But I'm not going to counti it because it was just that sticky, mushy stuff that melts by afternoon. Anyway, this has been a difficult + strange week for me. I've never been in love before. Losing someone you love - even when it's the healthiest decision - is much like a death. Maybe you already knew that; I didn't. Fortunately, I've been strong + everyone's been supportive.

Since I can't relax until I answer the silent question, I'll try. I want to see you - to date or whatever - whenever it's possible. But I don't want any pressure. I'm closer to you than to any other guy, but it's still hard for me to seriously picture myself with anyone but Mike.

Second, I respect + admire you a great deal + am pleased you feel the same way. But whether I'm afraid of disappointing you or my self-esteem's just low or whatever, sometimes I just want to scream. I'm your basic screwed-up teenager, trying to figure out what she wants. Don't expect too much. Yeah, I deal w/ my dad + I've been through some rought times. But everyone has - REALLY I'm far from a "poor soul" or a "saint." I'm just me. Make sure you really know me. (Sorry, that too comes as hindsight from a disillusioned relationship.)

I think I covered the serious stuff. Thank goodness. I only allot about 15 min. each day for seriousness. :)

[clipped a whole bunch of family/friends stuff covering three pages]

Enough! Enough! You wouldn't think I'd have this much to say, since I talk nonstop. oh, well. If you've finished this in 1 sitting, congratulate yourself + give your eyes a rest.

I miss you. I'm excited for Thanksgiving or a football game (if I can make it) or your next letter - actually I'm excited for all 3! I can't wait to meet everyone. Say "hello" if it's appropriate + I'll pass on your insincere greetings here. :)

Love ya,

Mel

Found Items II

The Monster That Ate Sarasota

One very peaceful day in Sarasota something arose from the Gulf of Mexico. At first people thought it was moss, but the fish knew what it was. It was a green fungi!

When people started to notice moving moss, and felt squishy moss, things started to change.

The Sarasota school board declared "No school," the mayor declared "No work," and on top of it all, the ice cream parlors closed down!

The people on the evening news had trouble broadcasting from their homes without news! But the trouble was on Sikma drive. The people were sunbathing when the fungi slinked across the grass. The people became more fungi!

After those cathastrophes, the people of Sarasota became alarmed. The govenor had his trip to Sarasota cancelled because of the massive fungi. The president was going to Bradenton, but couldn't because of the humongus massive fungi!

The N.F.L. team, the Sarasota Bombers said with pride, We can stop that fungus!"

The Bombers put up a fight. The even bombed it! It was no use. It ate Sarasota.

--------------

I can't really determine the year in which this was written with any accuracy. On the one hand, it features a more mature handwriting for me than I had in the first half of my grade school years (including the obvious use of a ruler to keep my words from angling off the page at weird angles), but on the other hand there are a couple dozen stars on the cover of this little booklet drawn in multiple colors of crayon. I'm going to guess fourth grade, circa 1984.

By the way, I'm horribly amused by the throwaway line about the president's trip to Bradenton, and the way I utilized exclamation points to build suspense at the end of every paragraph. Old habits are hard to break!

The First in a Series of Found Items

When I moved from Michigan, my mom insisted I take this huge plastic tub filled with all my old school stuff with me. Keeping all that stuff doesn't make sense, so I went through and pulled what I wanted. Before I throw the rest out, however, I thought I'd share some writing of mine (and from others as well) from way back.

Here, for instance, is my first blog:

1982's BG's Camping Journal

Camp Pottowoemie (sic) June 9, 10, 11 1982

1st Day

My bunkhouse foreman is Mrs. Heacox and My mom. Our name, The "Golden Bullets (GB)." The people in our cabin are, Me, David R., Brad F., Andy L., Paul H., Dale G., and Adam B.

2nd Day

Our First day was nice and noisy. Especilly in the pool. Today we had a water fight and a Rodeo. We came in 2nd and 3rd place. We had fun.

3rd Day
Last Day

Today we are going home and not coming back.

-----------

True story, in those three days at the lake I developed a boil on my ass that ended up getting lanced. No wonder I was so ready to bail on the Camp Pottawottamie experience.

On Growth And Youthful Poverty

"Between wealth and grinding poverty, who now chooses no more than material sufficiency in order to pursue something personally satisfying - craft, art, cooking, music, farming? How many (people) have a powerful private vision that would sustain them through decades of living on merely adequate means? I suppose some people do, but it's not held up as a desirable end, and I guess youthful poverty is regarded as temporary, something to endure until fortune comes along. I read recently in the Sunday Times magazine, "Obscurity is the new poverty." I tend to think that anonymity is freedom."

Edward Behr from The Art of Eating magazine (h/t Woodka.com)

Breaking News

Bobby Petrino just gave his full endorsement to Joey Harrington as his starting quarterback.

Whatever happened to the tepid endorsement?