random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Shorter Dennis Prager

Books about atheism are selling because Muslims are evil and many people just haven't heard about Jesus Christ yet.

Yep, that's the ticket.

[>>]posted at 1:02 PM by BG - click to email
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Correspondence With The Ex

[Last Night]

Hey [BG],

How is it going? Same ol' here. Just been busy with work. Thought
I would drop you a note, as you made a guest appearance in my dream a
couple of nights ago. So, I was thinking about you a bit. Went to your
site and also saw your new digs. Very nice. :) Was kind of surprised
to see things from when we were together, couches, print I got you,
penguin shaker, etc. I just have the all clad and some fiesta wear from
those days. Seems like a lifetime ago. I hope you're doing well. I am
going to head off to sleep soonish...so maybe we will catch up soon.
Hope you and the baby dog are well. Love, me xo

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[6:20AM - My email back]

Actually, I've replaced nearly everything you ever bought me with an exact replica. It was kind of expensive, but totally worth it.

BG.

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[8:06AM - Ex replies]

Ok...that's kinda weird. Why get exact replicas?

[>>]posted at 12:40 PM by BG - click to email
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Monday, August 20, 2007

Easy Decisions

I took an early flight out to a conference for work this morning, along with a rather attractive 30-something colleague of mine. As we were boarding, we found out we were seated in the same row, albeit across the aisle from one another - 10A and 10D.

As I approached the row, I noticed a nun sitting in 10C, the seat next to mine. As I put my luggage into the overhead, the nun offered to let my colleague and I sit together.

Nun... hot chick... nun... hot chick.

I chose the nun.

Seriously, even an atheist knows there's no safer seat in the event of a crash landing than the one next to a nun.

(In case you ever wondered what a nun does for her vacation, she goes to Omaha to a retreat where no one is allowed to speak for an entire week. No word on whether or not they have WiFi access.)

[>>]posted at 12:16 PM by BG - click to email
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Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Couple of Pics

A view of my kitchen

Brick walls

A view from my front door, looking towards the kitchen

[>>]posted at 4:45 PM by BG - click to email
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20 Tracks, The Meme

Put your iPod on shuffle and transcribe the first words of the first 20 songs which appear.

2099 songs in the main list (vocals-only tracks - there'd be another 1350 tracks if I added jazz, NPR radio shows and audiobooks), and for some reason it pulled one group's cuts four times (they represent almost 150 songs total), and four guys' songs twice each (two have no more than 50 cuts between them, another close to 90, and the guy responsible for #1 and #16 almost 250 - so 10% from him is representative, I suppose).

I find #8 more embarrassing for this list than #18. Oh, and song #21 isn't listed, but starts out with a beautiful little ditty sung by a female chorus full of five-percenter shit. "Your tongue is forked we know." Yes, they're talking about you there Whitey.

To the list...

1. Who killed Davey Moore? Why and what's the reason for? Not I, said the referee. Don't point your finger at me, I coulda stopped it in the eighth and coulda kept him from his fate.

2. Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train. Til Stoneman's calvalry came, and they tore up the tracks again.

Starting out, we've got two pieces of historical songwriting, which I guess is what you'd find on both my iPod as well as Stephen Ambrose's.

3. Packin' my bags. Goin' away to a place where the air is clean. On Saturn, there's no sense to sit and watch people die.

4. Go out yonder, peace in the valley. Come downtown have to rumble in the alley. Whoa, you don't know the shape I'm in.

5. Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together. I've got some real estate here in my bag. So we've got a pack of cigarettes, and Mrs. Wagner's pies. And we walked off, to look for America.

Moving on, we're entering the thematic realm of travel - although I'm unclear as to whether Stevie was able to consult Encyclopedia Britannica on whether the air is truly clean on Saturn.

6. Dry your eyes. Take your song out, it's a newborn afternoon. And if you can't recall the singer, you can still recall the tune.

7. Kingdoms and queens they all bow down to you. Branches and ranch hands are bowin' too. And I've taken off my straw hat for you, singing "Here comes the sun again."

8. When they call your name, will you walk right up with a smile on your face? Or will you cower in fear in your favorite sweater? With an old love letter? I wish you would.

9. We shall walk again. All along the lane, down the avenue, just like we used to. With our heads so high, smile at passersby. And we'll softly sigh, "ai yai yai yai yai yaiiiii."

Let's celebrate "you" for a moment, shall we? You should remember this song, know how much I love you, remember how much you loved me, and perhaps reminisce over how great things used to be between us. Nice little run of four here...

10. Yo, summertime holdin' a nine, split the Vega in half. Jeeps rumble and my dogs puff grass. Bank stoppin', high-derox hydraulic, the kid with the most knowledge will obtain to touch top dollars.

Indeed.

11. Sittin' on the front porch, ice cream in my hand. Meltin' in the sun, all that chocolate on my tongue. And that's good enough reason to live.

12. Driving home I see those flooded fields. How can people not know what beauty this is? I've taken it for granted my whole life, since the day I was born.

13. She, she came from the land of the cotton. The land that was nearly forgotten by everyone. She, she worked and she slaved so hard. The big ol' field was her big backyard in the Delta sun. Oh, but she sure could sing.

So besides puppies and sunshine, I can also appreciate the little things. Like a flood.

14. I know she's a tracker, any scarlet would back her. They say she's a chooser, but I just can't refuse her. She was just there, but then she can't be here no more. And as my mind unweaves, I feel the freeze down in my knees. But before she leaves, she receives.

I don't know if this is meant to impugn scarlets, or as a simple acknowledgement that if you're going to ask a scarlet about a tracker, you're just wasting your time if you think they'll do anything but back them. By the way, Matty says the entire career of Van Halen was based around this song. I'm not one to argue.

15. I dreamed you paid your dues in Canada, and left me to come through. I headed for there right away, I knew exactly just what to do.

Aye, and they called the big lake "Gitchigumee." There may not be a greater song written about 17th Century fur trapping and trading.

16. Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press. Whoever it is, I wish they'd cut it out quick, but when they will I can only guess.

I was just listening to Dylan singing Richard Manuel's words on "Tears of Rage," and found it really interesting how unnatural Dylan sounds singing other people's material. He also doesn't sound quite right singing something devoid of nuance and subtlety, but it's still one of the most important songs where the artist takes a piss on someone in particular before the dawn of the hip-hop era.

17. Yo, yo I was sitting at the table thinking, how the hell do I murder these M.C.'s, sting 'em like bees? My attitude's that of Hannibal, not compatible. Why I would damage you, fuck, if I drink, then ran with you? Ya'll chose the war, so called rich niggaz wanna verse the poor. I'll rob you first, then go to your earth, it's not gon' hurt. If you try calling the cops? It's not gon' work.

18. I got five on it. I got five, what you got nigga? Damn, I think I got two bucks in my sock nigga.

Christ almighty, rap lyrics can look stupid all by themselves on the page. I am, however, going to go out on a limb and call song #18 the greatest song ever written about trying to find enough people with loose change and dollar bills to team up and buy a bag of weed. I am, of course, not forgetting Barbra Streisand's "People Who Need People."

19. Well he stormed with his feet, and he clapped with his hands. He summoned all of his joy when he laughed. He suffered all of his joy when he cried, and sometimes when he got in to talkin, man he could rattle on and on. He was a good man, and now he's gone.

20. Unfaithful servant, I hear you're leaving soon in the morning. What did you do to the lady? Now she's going to have to send you away.

Requiems and lamentations, and perhaps it's appropriate that in my list we're closing up shop with feelings of loss and disappointment. Seems fitting, somehow.

[>>]posted at 4:43 PM by BG - click to email
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