random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

Monday, April 28, 2008

Hanging Out My Shingle

Here's a fun fact you probably never knew about me - I'm an amateur dream interpreter.

No, really. Here's a recent email back-and-forth between me and Daddy:

From: Daddy
To: BG
Subject: Dreams

See if you can interpret this one.

Cliffs notes:

1. Take an outright shit (very messy) in my old high school's gymnasium bleachers.
2. Cover it up with a textbook.
3. A bunch of Mexicans (weren't any there then, still aren't now) find it.
4. I'm found out because of a shitstain on the back of my white t-shirt.
5. People laugh and point at me while I'm playing basketball with a random group of folks.

Fast Forward

6. Playing hoops professionally somewhere I don't recognize. Likely another country.
7. Co-ed team.
8. Travel from one game to the next in the back of a small car with a blonde girl who's on our team.
9. She's a beginning ukelele player.
10. I take it from her, and SLAY it. (I don't know how to play one.)
11. She falls for me, and lays in my lap as we travel to the next game.
12. I feel guilt for being married, and having this chick in my lap holding my hand.
13. Realize just then that she's butterface ugly, and try to shove her away.

14. Wake up.

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From: BG
To: Daddy
Subject: re: Dreams

POSSIBLE SYMBOLS (Meanings):
Shit as a Thing (waste, expulsion, mess)
Textbooks
White T-Shirt (purity, then stained purity)
Basketball (Unlikely as a symbol, more likely as a metaphor)
Ukulele (Same)
The Girl (the validation of others)

POSSIBLE METAPHORS (Meanings):
Taking a Shit as an Action (embarrassment, desire to separate from something, giving birth)
Under The Bleachers (hiding, embarrassment)
Mexicans (people out of place, introduction of foreign element, intrusion/invasion, exposure)
Playing Pro Ball (competition, rat race, having a quantifiable worth as a member of a team)
Playing Co-Ed Pro Ball (one of these things is not like the other)
Foreign Country (the unknown, escape)
Travel (progress, or a journey farther into unknown territory)
Display of Talent (proving your worth)
Making the Girl Ugly (discounting what she symbolizes)
Pushing the Girl Away (finding a reason to scuttle progress, finding a reason to diminish validation)

POSSIBLE EMOTIONS (Meanings):
Taking a Shit as an Emotional Experience (relief)
Ridicule Over the Shit Stain (being discovered/exposed)
Temporary Love (validation)
Realization That You're "Cheating" (not feeling that you deserve validation)
Realizing She's Ugly (you begin to suspect the validation you're receiving isn't genuine)
Disgust and Escape (you outright reject any positive motivations for validation)

My guess? It's an abstract collage of your refusal to fully believe in your own self-worth. This is amateur psychology and fortune-cookie-diagnosis at best, but you have a difficult time handling the intrusion or invasion of the opinions of those you do not fully trust, even if those opinions are complimentary and positive. You still have enough nagging self-doubt to believe these people have their own insidious motivations for giving a shit about you. Taking a shit didn't really mean anything, except in the sense that you became noticeable to foreign elements (stained t-shirt was ridiculed by Mexicans who didn't belong) who have chosen to point at you and have increased your visibility (more people see you now because of their influence). The scene in the car with a teammate shows that you perceive that you're out of place - a fraud - to your team, and that your natural talents don't fit in with what that team is supposed to be doing. Even then, when you have a chance to display those talents to them, you feel that their compliments are loaded and you regret having shared yourself personally with these people to begin with.

Everything okay at work? ;)

-------------------

From: Daddy
To: BG
Subject: re:re: Dreams

Good Lord, bro.
You really should have a leather couch in your office.

Work is stressful.
Both good and bad.
I received a huge promotion that I wholly deserved, but [I edited some stuff out]. The bad part is that our program is a huge mess. Some would say I've got nothing to lose inheriting this situation, and they may be right. But, a huge mess, is still a huge fucking mess.

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Genius!

So, I'm hanging out my shingle. If you have a dream you want analyzed by a rank amateur, email me and let me take a crack.

Names changed to protect everyone but Daddy.

[>>]posted at 12:49 PM by BG - click to email
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