random thoughts and thoroughbred selections

2008-06-28T16:28:00.001-04:00

Uh Oh.

About four months ago, a good friend of mine decided it was time for him to take the next step in his career. He had been in an operational/sales role, but knew his business and found an opportunity to take a directorship with another organization.

On Wednesday, he called and told me he'd been let go. He was tasked to manage a team that had been entrenched and comfortable under old management, and he never got them to buy in to what he was selling. Moreover, the industry he's in is taking a hit this year, and the once-attractive opportunity turned into a miserable fight over table scraps as his staff kicked each others' asses to grab everything they could to pad their quarterly bonuses. He was set up to fail, and, in retrospect, he realizes this.

Here's hoping that this is not foreshadowing. Here's hoping that in coming months you don't get a rambling and tearful opus that dwells significantly on regrets and missed opportunities. Because I'm being set up for something here, and I'm not exactly sure what that something is yet.

--------

I'm good at my job. No two ways about it. I understand the business I'm in pretty thoroughly, and can discuss and dissect it from any angle you want to throw at me. Operational? Sure, been in the trenches working the transactions for five years. Strategic? Absolutely, there's been no one else shaping the client's goals leading to a 100% increase in our contract over two years. Legal? No question, I can go toe-to-toe with VPs of our suppliers and argue liability language and insurance guidelines, and have taken it on my shoulders to do so. Philosophical?

Yes. Working in the role I have for the past 28 months has enabled me to grow in this gig by leaps and bounds. In one respect, the transactional nature of the procurement program I've been responsible for designing, building and running for my client is really no more than coordinating and controlling information and activity from point A to point Z and doing it well. That being said, the design of the program is naturally influenced by the client's goals and objectives, and those are the things of which I need to be conscious as I'm running the transactions. This client, in particular, has been open and energetic about what they've wanted from me, and we've worked together to develop a common philosophy that boils down to this objective:

To Create A Commodity Procurement Experience Within This Non-Commodity Channel.

When I landed here in March 2006, I had a significant amount of cleanup to do to regain the trust and rebuild the relationships upon which my credibility would be placed. That took a few months, but once the operations were set and running, we were able to bring our discussions around towards building the aforementioned objective, which enabled me to base all my operational design and decision-making around that common goal.

As of February 2008, they had doubled their spending through my desk, which is a clear indicator that my operational, strategic, legal and philosophical understanding and execution had been validated.

I'm enormously proud of what I've been able to accomplish here, especially considering how patient I had to be for my job title and paycheck to catch up to my associates handling the same things on other accounts. I almost walked in early 2007. Really glad I didn't.

--------

Back in February, my client engaged my company to double-up the spending by allowing our procurement efforts to completely cover North America. This was a long and hard-fought win for my company and a big win for me personally. I've spent the last three-and-a-half months of my life working diligently to add in all the transactions we're finding out in the Gulf Coast, Wichita, Puyallup and everywhere in-between. This represented another effort for which I was trusted with near-total autonomy. Normally, our regional leadership gets deeply involved in these projects, but they've all been tied up on other efforts since our contract was signed.

No problem. We "went live" two weeks ago, and are doing fine. A little messy, a little more disorganized than I'd like, but they're all messy and disorganized. Mine probably a little less so.

That, however, is probably just as much due to the size of this program than any true excellence on my part. See, even with the double-up in business, this account is still one of the three smallest (hell, I think we might be the smallest) my company manages. Of course I'm going to have freedom to operate and experiment and reconstruct and redesign. Hell, what's the risk, really? The amount of money I'm responsible for every year sounds like a lot, but in the wide scope of what we do, it's really not all that much.

Point being, I've been successful here, but on a fairly limited scale. I've made no secret to my leadership that I've wanted more and was willing to move just about anywhere* if and when they asked, but I was pretty sure that getting the contract signed/project launched was effectively locking me into this godforsaken place for another twelve months or so.

I had made my peace with that.

*My non-starter list is essentially New Jersey, SoCal (except San Diego, I think), and Utah. Pretty much anywhere else is acceptable.

---------

"I need to ask you something, and I need you to have an open mind. Ready?"

My group's VP had asked to talk to me after hours two Wednesdays ago, and I immediately called my boss to ask if there was anything I needed to be aware of - so I knew what was coming next.

"I need you in Chicago. As soon as possible. Like, yesterday. But I want to tell you what you're getting into and let you think about it, alright?"

---------

In 2006 I had been asked to move abruptly to rescue a dying program we were in danger of losing.

I did it.

Now, two years later, I'm being asked again to move abruptly to rescue a dying program we're in danger of losing. This time, though, instead of being tasked to one of the bottom three programs, I'm being asked to rescue our biggest.

Fucking A.

---------

I talked with the VP for a good half hour about the troubled program and the issues. He asked me what I needed to make the move. I threw out a salary number that basically is double what I was making three-and-a-half years ago. He told me he'd beat it, throw a signing bonus and a one-year retention bonus in there too.

Fucking A.

He then asked me to sleep on it and let him know in the morning. I told him I didn't have to, that I've been looking for this next step for awhile and was only concerned about the timing with my current client.

"Sleep on it, and I need you not to worry about your client. That's your boss' problem now."

I slept on it, but my answer didn't change in the morning.

----------

Is it scalable?

This is the question that's going to define whether or not I can succeed here. Is it scalable? Can I take the process and policy I've been shaping and building for two years and apply it to 1500 transactions instead of 180?

I believe I can. But can I lead the rest of the team to make that happen?

I've been a lone wolf for awhile, but now I'm going to have to delegate and lead. I have to build six people into subject matter experts and get their operations to all run identically and systematically to Create A Commodity Procurement Experience. Does it matter that I haven't had a team since I managed a waitstaff in college? Can I lead and mentor and build these guys into the experts they need to be?

Christ, I hope so. Because if this thing is going to be scalable, I need them to scale it.

I spent Wednesday and Thursday in the Chicago suburbs, with a little time onsite at the client meeting some of the people I'm responsible for supporting. I had dinner (at Morton's, no less - bone-in ribeye, rare - Fucking A indeed) with the director I'll be reporting to, and locked up the job in those meetings and interviews.

I'll be on the ground there full time by the week of July 21st, I think.

Everyone I talked to had basically the same feedback. "He's got the knowledge and the energy, but he hasn't done it to this scale before."

Nope.

----------

It'll be four to six months before this story has something that's going to resemble an ending. I've got a lot of little bullshit to fix and a big fucking operational shortcoming to tear down and rebuild. I'm pleased as hell that I was asked to do this, and am not at all freaked out that there's a sincere and not-at-all insignificant potential for failure here. If you're going to claim to be ambitious, this is what you have to do to keep that reputation.

But I can't say I'm not at all worried. Of course I am. Can I lead? Can I mentor? Can I scale my subject-matter expertise? Am I doomed to fall into the same trap as the guy I'm replacing?

I'm not relaxing all that easily this weekend, knowing what's in front of me. I've been told that I have to cancel my vacations (including The Bash - sorry Al) into December (Vegas is still booked, I'm not fucking around with missing two in a row), which makes me a little uptight. I'm apparently moving in three weeks and have nothing accomplished (packing, disconnecting cable, getting out of my lease, etc), which makes me a little uptight.

And most of all, the bad omen of my good friend losing his job for the most plausible reason why I might end up losing mine in a matter of months. That makes me a little uptight.

Just a little though. This is an enormously positive turn of events, and one I very much deserve the opportunity to tackle.

With any luck, I'll see if I can't time my drive out to join y'all for Gentile Summit after all.

Wish me that luck and more, would you?

2008-06-28T10:51:00.002-04:00

I Thought This Sounded Fun...

From The DCeiver, by way of Matt Yglesias:

Your instructions are as follows:

1. Take out your iPod (or Zune, I guess...really, who buys a Zune?)
2. Press shuffle songs.
3. Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?
4. Leave your answers.

Four songs in I get "Just a Lil Dude (Who Dat Ovah There)" from RZA featuring Q-Tip. First four lines:

"Bodies in the street, killing over head
Marvel at the sky, as it turn blood red
Peelin' caps back til the white meat show
This is natural, for the little Afro"

I'm guessing lines three and four could be spun into a "Let's Kill Whitey" sort of thing, right?

If that's not enough, song 12 was Ice Cube's "Givin' Up The Nappy Dugout," which should be plenty.

How about yours?

2008-06-17T06:32:00.001-04:00

Also Amusing

A blog response to The Fat Guy.

Thanks Republicans!

2008-06-10T19:01:00.002-04:00

Announcing Winter Gathering Dates

The weekend of December 13 is confirmed. I'm sure the IP is going to be the destination, as per usual.

No, don't look at me as an organizer, but if Farecast is to be believed, y'all best be buying your tickets before they spike.

(I'll hopefully get back to blogging when things calm down for me a little. I also tend to blog less when I'm happy, so there you go.)

2008-05-24T08:01:00.000-04:00

Italian Spiderman, Episode One

Chock full of the motherfucking awesome:

2008-05-16T09:32:00.002-04:00

Blind Fealty To Israel Means The Only Good Palestinian Democratic Elections Are The Ones That Elevate Candidates Who Like To Roll Over And Have Their Belly Scratched

I went back and forth a little with The Fat Guy in his comments about why you can't simply say "Hamas is a terrorist organization," as they have the majority of democratically elected representatives on the Palestinian council. You can disagree with them, you can call their violent acts out for the abhorrent terrorist attacks they are, but you can't simply say they're an illegitimate organization that we won't talk to - unless, of course, your aim is not for Israeli/Palestinian peace, but instead for the full subjugation of the Palestinian people to Israeli demands.

What, exactly, is wrong with this position:

Here is the crucial part of our exchange:

I asked: "Do you think that American diplomats should be operating the way they have in the past, working with the Palestinian government if Hamas is now in charge?"

[Obama] answered: "They're the government; sooner or later we are going to have to deal with them, one way or another, and I understand why this administration and previous administrations had such antipathy towards Hamas because of their dedication to violence and the things that they not only espouse but practice, so . . . but it's a new reality in the Middle East. I think the lesson is people want security and a decent life and decent future, that they want democracy. Fatah was not giving them that."

Are we interested in peace, or are we interested in cleansing the Palestinians out of Israel? Frankly, I don't really give a shit either way, as long as we're honest about why we're supporting what we're supporting, and have an honest discussion about the consequences. That being said, if it's peace we're trying to foment, and if we really are a country who is genuinely interested in promoting democracy in the Middle East, we need to talk to Hamas. Period. They're the brokers who can stop the violence, and they're the democratically elected voices of the people.

Unless, of course, by "promoting democracy in the Middle East" we really mean "installing illegitimate lapdog governments who will bend to American whim." Then, I suppose, whatever our little Imperialist hearts desire is probably the Good and Noble choice to make. Because, you know, promoting democracy tends to generally be defined as allowing the will of the people to speak, whether or not you like what they have to say.

Just be honest. Our partnership with Israel is too valuable for some reason to allow the people of the Middle East to speak for themselves, right? Forget negotiating, just throw some razor wire around their territory, fortify the checkpoints and squeeze the shit out of them until they capitulate. Is that the plan for peace?

Tell me what's wrong with the quote above.

2008-05-14T16:28:00.001-04:00

Update

Just joined Twitter - no promises.

My username is Gamblingblues.

2008-05-14T12:24:00.003-04:00

A Comprehensive List Of Things From My Youth For Which I Am Nostalgic, That Hollywood Has Not Yet Appropriated Into A Major Motion Picture

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
Mary Lou Retton
Nerf Footballs
The Pass, Dribble & Shoot Competition
M.A.S.K.
Sledge Hammer!
You Can't Do That On Television
Spaghetti Night
The YMCA Pool
Dairy Treat Soft Serve Cones
The Commodore 64
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
My Fifth Grade Crush Courtney
My Kindergarten Crush Tori
Building Forts Out Of Pillows And Blankets
The Bubba Baker Lions Years
Eric Hipple
Wiffle Ball
That One Time I Won That Nickelodeon Contest
Happy Meals
Posing For Every Picture In My Batting Stance
~~Fraggle Rock~~

I can't wait for SPAGHETTI NIGHT: THE MOVIE in the fall of 2010.

2008-05-14T06:26:00.002-04:00

Insert Your Democratic Candidate For The House Here

Special election last night in Mississippi for a House seat, with two challengers running in a district that voted Bush in 2004 by a 25 point margin. Here's one of the Republican ads that ran attacking Dem candidate Travis Childers, which might serve as a preview of what you'll be seeing in September and October all over your TV in the run up to the election:

Childers won last night by eight, despite his obvious white black nationalist politics (if what this ad implies is true, which I'm sure it is).

2008-05-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

Happy Mothers(-ILF) Day

My favorite clip of my favorite recent TV Mom

From the underrated "Grounded for Life," it's Megyn Price ladies and gentlemen...

2008-05-11T15:51:00.001-04:00

From Last Night's SNL

2008-05-11T07:59:00.002-04:00

More Jazz

I've got a post up over at Pauly's Coventry blog featuring a zip file of jazz music for your enjoyment.

There's some overlap to what I've posted here before, but a few new tracks to be sure. Always happy to hear if you've enjoyed the music, and let me know if there's anything I can pull and post for you (more tracks by a specific artist, for instance).

2008-05-03T09:51:00.003-04:00

Today's Recommendations

1. Monba in the Derby. Don't ask me why, I didn't do any handicapping. By the way, I am putting a $21 win bet on Bob Black Jack, but he's going from unlucky post #13, so I'm expecting to flush that down the toilet.

2. Don't miss Otis getting busted by ~~the girl who took his virginity~~ an old ex-girlfriend on his very own blog. I can't chalk this up as a schadenfreude moment, as I'm confident a similar comment by mine would go something like, "blah blah blah you're lucky I was drunk, blah blah blah never again in a Ford Tempo, blah blah blah."

3. Palermo brand frozen pizzas. They're (apparently) a Milwaukee institution, and I strongly endorse their interstate trade with Pennsylvania that puts them in my grocer's freezer case.

4. Lastly, I highly recommend calling my building's assistant superintendent to check behind and under your oven for mouse nests. Terrific body + tight jeans + willingness to get down on all fours and strain to reach the far corners underneath = an enjoyable five minutes for me.

In case you're curious, the rodent death toll stands at SEVEN since January. That's two via glue traps, one caught in a spring trap, and four dead carcasses poisoned by the bait traps lying about my house.

Also, thanks to everyone who let me kvetch about my dog this week. He went in for surgery Thursday to get a growth under his eyelid removed, and is seemingly back to 100% today. The vet was pretty worried at first, as the thing was dangling from about 2 cm back underneath his eyelid (it looked like a dangling booger), and she hadn't seen anything that odd before. That being said, she was encouraged that she cut it off more than cut it out, meaning the thing was more superficial than embedded. Obviously a good thing. I should get the biopsy results next week, but I'm optimistic - which you know isn't usually how I roll. So thanks again guys.

2008-05-01T16:52:00.001-04:00

*Playing Blackjack Online*

Blackjack is one of the most popular casino games in the world and is played by millions of people each and every day. On the Internet, blackjack is increasingly becoming the game of choice for casino players looking to maximize their casino bonus at the tables, but can it beaten? Traditionally, many players shunned away from online blackjack due to concerns over its legitimacy and fairness, but the growing acceptance of the use of random number generators and audited software has calmed the skeptics and popularity of the game is at an all time high.

In terms of online casinos, Party Casino has been noted by many frequent casino players as having the loosest and easiest to beat games, with many of the professional online blackjack players noting large wins over the past few months. Other popular casinos for blackjack include Bodog and Club USA Casino, which have also seen some very large winners in recent times.

Strategy wise, online blackjack is identical to casino blackjack in relation to rules and basic strategy, and generally speaking there are many more variations of blackjack offered in online casinos vs. a traditional brick and mortar. This can be advantageous for players with games like single deck blackjack and multi-hand blackjack being offered that give the player excellent value and odds against the house edge. Other popular online blackjack games include Spanish 21, a popular blackjack variation that incorporates interesting rules such as multiple payouts for 21 and no 10s in the deck.

Overall, playing blackjack online is a great alternative to going to a traditional casino environment and offers the same if not better game selection, odds and rules.

2008-04-29T21:05:00.001-04:00

Remember That Moroccan Pork From Two Saturdays Ago?

Was trying to win a contest.

Didn't.

First prize was a book about meat.

Disappointed.

2008-04-29T19:48:00.002-04:00

Secretariat (Again)

(I originally posted this three years ago. Just saw the episode I quote below, and I thought it a good occasion to resurrect this to the front page - with video below. Enjoy.)

With a shameless assist from the ESPN SportsCentury episode, quotes transcribed and attributed as best possible.

Secretariat's win at the Belmont Stakes handed him the Triple Crown, but stands on its own as one of the greatest individual accomplishments in the history of sports. There are very few moments of sports perfection - Don Larsen's perfect game, Tiger Woods demolishing fields in the Masters and US Open by record scores - but this is one of the most oft-overlooked moments of them all. If you get the chance to see this SportsCentury episode, please do. It's astonishing.

William Nack, Biographer: I've never seen him walk like this before. He's like the execution man. He's going to the gallows. He's about to dispatch somebody.

Cut to the start of the race. In the Derby and Preakness, Secretariat broke from the gate sluggishly. Not this time. From his post position at the rail, he immediately goes up to join the leaders. Sham, his main rival, is predictably right up front with him.

Jerry Izenberg, Writer: Sham had been such a tough competitor for him in the first two races, you had to wonder if this would be Sham's day.

Laffit Pincay, Jockey, Sham: My instructions were to be very close to Secretariat from the word "go."

Around the first turn it's Secretariat and Sham a few lengths in front of the rest of the pack. They're dueling up front through the turn.

Penny Chenery, Owner: He just felt like running. That was the day he felt terrific.

Lucien Lauren, Trainer: I said, "Just leave him alone." I said, "Just take a long load and let him run his own race."

Clem Florio, Writer: Ron Turcotte (the jockey) - he let him run. Come on. Let's see what he's got. You've done the Derby, you've done the Preakness. Come on. Let's see him go all out. How good can this guy go?

Secretariat and Sham are barely into the backstretch at Belmont Park. It's an interminably long run just to hit the next turn. Sham concedes just a bit of ground to Secretariat, willing to run just outside, just off his back flank.

Nack: I looked at the teletimer and saw that the horse had gone three-quarters of a mile in 1:09:20, which is the fastest three-quarter mile ever run in the Belmont Stakes, and he's leaving Sham at this point.

At the top of the final turn, Secretariat has extended a one length lead into three in about two strides. Pincay is wisely holding Sham steady. There is nearly another three-quarters of a mile to run at this point, and you've got to save some of your horse for the home stretch - don't you?

Some Writer: He is running, and running, and running, and running. And I turn to the guy next to me and I say, "He's lost the horse."

Track Announcer: Three and a half! He's moving into the turn. Secretariat is holding on to a large lead, Sham is second, and it's a long way back...

Nack: And I'm thinking, "He has gone insane." I'm cursing him. Under my breath, "You moron! What are you doing?" you know? "You're going to kill the horse! You're going to lose the Triple Crown! Don't you know how fast you're going?"

Penny Chenery: Nobody knew that was going to happen. Not the rider, not the trainer, not the owner... I think probably not the horse.

Half mile to run, and Secretariat is into the turn. Sham is at least ten back at this point holding steady. There's no one else in the shot.

Track Announcer: Secretariat is widening now! He is moving like a tremendous machine! Secretariat by twelve! Secretariat by fourteen lengths!

Nack: And he still has a quarter of a mile to go. And I'm thinking to myself, he's totally going to collapse in the stretch. He can't keep this up. And I'm asking other guys around the track, "What are you thinking?" Everybody to a man is thinking, "He's going too damn fast."

Secretariat hits the quarter mile pole which marks the end of the final turn. Most of the other horses have caught Sham at this point, but those four are easily fifteen back of Secretariat, without a lot of race remaining for making up ground.

Track Announcer: Secretariat is in a position where he's impossible to catch. Coming into the stretch, Secretariat leads this field by eighteen lengths.

Penny Chenery: Lucien said to me, "Oh my god Ronnie, just don't fall off. Just don't fall off."

Ronnie Turcotte: Finally, after I turned for home, my curiosity got the best of me. I had to turn around. When I look at it (the picture), I scare myself.

Track Announcer: Secretariat has opened a twenty two length lead! He is going to be the Triple Crown Winner!

There's less than an eighth of a mile left, and the impossible is happening. Secretariat is widening his lead.

Track Announcer: Here comes Secretariat to the wire! An unbelievable, an amazing performance!

There's no one within twenty five lengths, and there's no other horses in the wide angle camera shot either.

Track Announcer: He hits the finish... Twenty five lengths in front!

He won by 31 lengths, officially.

Pat Lynch, Writer: I believed in Pegasus that day, because I saw... I never saw anything like that in my life. Thirty one lengths? I mean, think of what that... it's unbelievable! It's like they were racing on two different racetracks.

Other Writer: It was like the Lord was holding the reins. Secretariat was one of his creatures, and he maybe whispered to him, "Go," and that horse really went. It was almost a supernatural experience. It really was.

Nack: I leaped up out of my chair at Belmont Park shouting, "We'll never see this again." And I get to the elevator to go down to the winner's circle, and I'm standing next to Pete Axthelm, and he said, "I used to think the Ali-Frazier fight in Madison Square Garden was the greatest thing I've ever seen. This was even greater."

Jack Whitaker: Everybody was speechless. And then, when it set in, people started crying. I actually saw people crying at this affair. It was an overwhelming thing.

George Plimpton: There were these co-eds lining the rail. This sounds hard to believe, but I swear, half of them were weeping as the horse went by.

Heywood, CBS Color Guy: Jack Nickalus once called me over and said, "You were at the Belmont, you saw that race." I said yes. He said, "I was all alone in my living room watching, and as he came down the stretch - pulling away - I applauded, and I cried."

Nack: And Heywood said to him, in a brilliant moment of epiphany and insight, "Jack, don't you understand? All of your life in your game you've been striving for perfection. And at the end of the Belmont, you saw it."

It's the greatest thing I've ever seen as well, and wish I could have been alive to witness it. Horse racing can sometimes be dismissed as a gambler's game, but sometimes when perfection demands your attention, it's impossible to deny its presence.

The Derby is Saturday.

2008-04-28T12:49:00.000-04:00

Hanging Out My Shingle

Here's a fun fact you probably never knew about me - I'm an amateur dream interpreter.

No, really. Here's a recent email back-and-forth between me and Daddy:

From: Daddy
To: BG
Subject: Dreams

See if you can interpret this one.

Cliffs notes:

1. Take an outright shit (very messy) in my old high school's gymnasium bleachers.
2. Cover it up with a textbook.
3. A bunch of Mexicans (weren't any there then, still aren't now) find it.
4. I'm found out because of a shitstain on the back of my white t-shirt.
5. People laugh and point at me while I'm playing basketball with a random group of folks.

Fast Forward

6. Playing hoops professionally somewhere I don't recognize. Likely another country.
7. Co-ed team.
8. Travel from one game to the next in the back of a small car with a blonde girl who's on our team.
9. She's a beginning ukelele player.
10. I take it from her, and SLAY it. (I don't know how to play one.)
11. She falls for me, and lays in my lap as we travel to the next game.
12. I feel guilt for being married, and having this chick in my lap holding my hand.
13. Realize just then that she's butterface ugly, and try to shove her away.

14. Wake up.

-------------------

From: BG
To: Daddy
Subject: re: Dreams

POSSIBLE SYMBOLS (Meanings):
Shit as a Thing (waste, expulsion, mess)
Textbooks
White T-Shirt (purity, then stained purity)
Basketball (Unlikely as a symbol, more likely as a metaphor)
Ukulele (Same)
The Girl (the validation of others)

POSSIBLE METAPHORS (Meanings):
Taking a Shit as an Action (embarrassment, desire to separate from something, giving birth)
Under The Bleachers (hiding, embarrassment)
Mexicans (people out of place, introduction of foreign element, intrusion/invasion, exposure)
Playing Pro Ball (competition, rat race, having a quantifiable worth as a member of a team)
Playing Co-Ed Pro Ball (one of these things is not like the other)
Foreign Country (the unknown, escape)
Travel (progress, or a journey farther into unknown territory)
Display of Talent (proving your worth)
Making the Girl Ugly (discounting what she symbolizes)
Pushing the Girl Away (finding a reason to scuttle progress, finding a reason to diminish validation)

POSSIBLE EMOTIONS (Meanings):
Taking a Shit as an Emotional Experience (relief)
Ridicule Over the Shit Stain (being discovered/exposed)
Temporary Love (validation)
Realization That You're "Cheating" (not feeling that you deserve validation)
Realizing She's Ugly (you begin to suspect the validation you're receiving isn't genuine)
Disgust and Escape (you outright reject any positive motivations for validation)

My guess? It's an abstract collage of your refusal to fully believe in your own self-worth. This is amateur psychology and fortune-cookie-diagnosis at best, but you have a difficult time handling the intrusion or invasion of the opinions of those you do not fully trust, even if those opinions are complimentary and positive. You still have enough nagging self-doubt to believe these people have their own insidious motivations for giving a shit about you. Taking a shit didn't really mean anything, except in the sense that you became noticeable to foreign elements (stained t-shirt was ridiculed by Mexicans who didn't belong) who have chosen to point at you and have increased your visibility (more people see you now because of their influence). The scene in the car with a teammate shows that you perceive that you're out of place - a fraud - to your team, and that your natural talents don't fit in with what that team is supposed to be doing. Even then, when you have a chance to display those talents to them, you feel that their compliments are loaded and you regret having shared yourself personally with these people to begin with.

Everything okay at work? ;)

-------------------

From: Daddy
To: BG
Subject: re:re: Dreams

Good Lord, bro.
You really should have a leather couch in your office.

Work is stressful.
Both good and bad.
I received a huge promotion that I wholly deserved, but [I edited some stuff out]. The bad part is that our program is a huge mess. Some would say I've got nothing to lose inheriting this situation, and they may be right. But, a huge mess, is still a huge fucking mess.

-------------------

Genius!

So, I'm hanging out my shingle. If you have a dream you want analyzed by a rank amateur, email me and let me take a crack.

Names changed to protect everyone but Daddy.

2008-04-24T09:18:00.002-04:00

You're Doing It Wrong

Establishment Clause Edition

MIAMI (AP) - Florida drivers can order more than 100 specialty license plates celebrating everything from manatees to the Miami Heat, but one now under consideration would be the first in the nation to explicitly promote a specific religion.

The Florida Legislature is considering a specialty plate with a design that includes a Christian cross, a stained-glass window and the words "I Believe."

Rep. Edward Bullard, the plate's sponsor, said people who "believe in their college or university" or "believe in their football team" already have license plates they can buy. The new design is a chance for others to put a tag on their cars with "something they believe in," he said.

Okay, here are the ground rules the courts have historically set for acceptability. One, the intent cannot be to promote religion at the state level. Let's see how we're doing on that front:

Some lawmakers say the state should be careful. Rep. Kelly Skidmore said she is a Roman Catholic and goes to Mass on Sundays, but she believes the "I Believe" plate is inappropriate for the government to produce.

So far, so good. A believer who thinks it's inappropriate. Wait, maybe we should ask her why...

"It's not a road I want to go down. I don't want to see the Star of David next. I don't want to see a Torah next. None of that stuff is appropriate to me," said Skidmore, a Democrat who voted against the plate in committee. "I just believe that."

Jew jew jew jew jew jew jewy jew jew jew.

Yeah, let's let Ms. Skidmore take a pass on this one. How about going to the plate's sponsor? Will all ideas be treated equally by the state, as it relates to license plate propaganda?

Bullard, the plate's sponsor, isn't sure all groups should be able to express their preference. If atheists came up with an "I Don't Believe" plate, for example, he would probably oppose it.

D'oh.

How about the second rule? What about the fee structure for these plates? Any special treatment of religion there?

The plate would cost drivers an extra $25 annual fee.

Okay, no problem. If everyone pays $25 extra for their vanity plates, we're cool, right? What happens with that money, though?

This isn't the first time a Florida license plate design has created religious controversy. In 1999, lawmakers approved a bright yellow "Choose Life" license plate with a picture of a boy and girl. It raises money for agencies that encourage women to not have abortions.

That generated a court battle, with abortion rights groups saying the plate had religious overtones. But it was ruled legal, and about a dozen states now have similar plates.

[snip]

The group asking for the "I Believe" plate, the Orlando-based nonprofit Faith in Teaching Inc., supports faith-based schools activities.

Oops. State-sponsored funding of evangelical groups to the probable exclusion of (JEWS!) other philosophies?

FAIL.

(Of course, watch the ACLU take this all the way up to the Supreme Court and run into the Scalia stonewall. You know that stained-glass motif is just to appeal to Antonin's Catholic taste.)

2008-04-22T13:19:00.001-04:00

When Targeted Advertising Goes Awry

Found as a sponsored link above my Gmail inbox just now...

2008-04-21T06:36:00.003-04:00

This Is Why I Love Metafilter.

Last night, someone posted a thread highlighting some of the major players in "smooth jazz."

After a bunch of people had their lulz (including me - I post there under Gracie's long-idle membership), the conversation evolves into a discussion of jazz, country, pop and everything that's happened in music since 1920 as part of the same family tree. This response is as good a place as any to start.

2008-04-20T12:14:00.001-04:00

Closing The Loop On Last Night's Dinner

I'm adding this to the bottom of yesterday's post too, just making sure anyone who was following along got the review of the meal. My neighbor came up for dinner, then I had a couple of drinks, then Iggy called, then I had to get the dog out...

Making this meal was a really good experience, mostly because I challenged myself to do a variety of things that I hadn't before. I mean, yes, at a minimum this is still just fatty meat slow cooked in liquid, and that's my wheelhouse, but there was some new stuff in there too.

Obviously, the tagine itself was new ground for me, but cooking with aromatics (as opposed to oregano/basil), dried fruit and saffron gave me some exposure doing some things I hadn't really done to a large extent before.

I've got to admit, since I didn't use recipes for any of this stuff, I really had to use my imagination to piece this whole thing together. This isn't to say that what I did was particularly inventive, but I worked the spice mix out myself, I came up with the pears-in-pork-fat thing (again, I'm sure I'm not the first), and planned the couscous all on my own - mostly using spice combinations I hadn't ever goofed with before.

So how did it taste?

Well, the couscous was just okay. The lemon flavor didn't pop, the saffron was really subtle, and the pork belly was more like cracklins than it was like bacon by the time I got it added. I like the Israeli couscous particularly because it ends up releasing its starches much like a risotto, so a little additional flavor to make the couscous "sauce" (just the light glue that this stuff swims in) deeper would have been nice.

The main dish though... wow. The apricots and raisins melted into the liquid (mostly), thickening it up and creating a real velvety texture to the sauce. The pork was really soft (obviously, after three hours stewing), and the cinnamon/nutmeg flavors were really brought out by the fruit. The pears turned out really nice too. The tastes and textures worked together nicely.

I really couldn't have been more pleased. So, while the couscous was a D-Plus effort, I'm giving myself a solid A for the pork and pears. Not to be egotistical or anything, but I'm damned proud of how all this worked out.

2008-04-19T14:30:00.005-04:00

Saturday Afternoon Dinner Blogging

**Big thanks to Joaquin, who let me bounce some ideas for this meal off of him earlier this week.**

Oh my god, is that two-and-a-half pounds of pork on my cutting board?!?!

Indeed it is. On the left is a pork shoulder roast, on the right? Pork belly.

Although I don't think pork is big in North Africa, I'm still going to try to turn this stuff into a Moroccan feast tonight.

Using the spice mixture I used from my lamb shanks just after Xmas:

Two parts cinnamon
Two parts coriander
One part salt
One part cumin
One part white pepper
Half part nutmeg

I chopped up the half-pound of pork belly and tossed it liberally with the spices. Note that I've broken out the tagine, for its inaugural run on my stove top.

From there, I'm really only using the belly to render out the fat, infusing it with the spices for my next step. I'm not even sure I'm going to use the meat, in all honesty. We'll see where this goes.

----

Alright, so I let the pork belly release some fat, and ended up brushing the pork fat on these:

Those are bosc pears, wedged into eighths, then brushed with pork fat and Moroccan spice rub. I roasted them in the oven, and will get back to them later.

After that, I got back to the pork shoulder, which I had cubed up. In a small bowl I mixed 1/4 cup of flour and 1/4 cup of the above spice mix with garlic powder, ginger, salt and red pepper added. I tossed the pork with this stuff, coating it well. I also chopped two medium/large shallots, and got some olive oil heating up in my large French oven.

I browned the pork, letting the spice/flour mix stick well to the bottom. After that:

Here's what it looks like all together:

The tagine was one of those bug-up-my-ass purchases that came around after getting a gift of argan oil from the Doc for Xmas. It's a Moroccan vessel with a conical top that allows for steaming and condensation to recirculate inside, enabling stewing at a low heat point.

Now, theoretically, is this anything I couldn't have done with what I had on hand before buying this thing?

No.

Fuck off.

I'll buy a tagine if I want to.

We're about 90 minutes in to cooking this thing, and the only mistake I've made so far is in not stirring it often enough. The sugars in the raisins and apricots released and caused some burn down on the bottom of the tagine, despite the low heat. No biggie though, what's on top still tastes pretty damn good.

Finished Product

(Sorry yo, neighbor came upstairs for dinner.)

The Israeli couscous is made with lemon juice and saffron with chopped pork belly, and the pork turned out really fucking tasty, especially with the roasted pears underneath.

THE VERDICT

Making this meal was a really good experience, mostly because I challenged myself to do a variety of things that I hadn't before. I mean, yes, at a minimum this is still just fatty meat slow cooked in liquid, and that's my wheelhouse, but there was some new stuff in there too.

Obviously, the tagine itself was new ground for me, but cooking with aromatics (as opposed to oregano/basil), dried fruit and saffron gave me some exposure doing some things I hadn't really done to a large extent before.

I've got to admit, since I didn't use recipes for any of this stuff, I really had to use my imagination to piece this whole thing together. This isn't to say that what I did was particularly inventive, but I worked the spice mix out myself, I came up with the pears-in-pork-fat thing (again, I'm sure I'm not the first), and planned the couscous all on my own - mostly using spice combinations I hadn't ever goofed with before.

So how did it taste?

Well, the couscous was just okay. The lemon flavor didn't pop, the saffron was really subtle, and the pork belly was more like cracklins than it was like bacon by the time I got it added. I like the Israeli couscous particularly because it ends up releasing its starches much like a risotto, so a little additional flavor to make the couscous "sauce" (just the light glue that this stuff swims in) deeper would have been nice.

The main dish though... wow. The apricots and raisins melted into the liquid (mostly), thickening it up and creating a real velvety texture to the sauce. The pork was really soft (obviously, after three hours stewing), and the cinnamon/nutmeg flavors were really brought out by the fruit. The pears turned out really nice too. The tastes and textures worked together nicely.

I really couldn't have been more pleased. So, while the couscous was a D-Plus effort, I'm giving myself a solid A for the pork and pears. Not to be egotistical or anything, but I'm damned proud of how all this worked out.

2008-04-19T11:39:00.001-04:00

More Serious Questions On "Barry" Obama

You know who else does this stuff? America haters, fags and the French.

Why hasn't he repudiated fellow-Muslim Abdul-Rauf? Is he hiding an Amaechian secret? I hear he's eaten frites. Why won't he address this?

(Also note, he was likely the only black guy on his Hawaiian high school team, yet couldn't make it to the varsity until his senior year. Naturally, this puts him as less-black-than-Tiger but more-black-than-Bryant-Gumbel on the scale. Also, he passes too much. Socialist.)

2008-04-18T18:48:00.000-04:00

I Don't Know What To Do With This, So HERE:

What would the studio pitch for the movie version of the Ziggy comic strip sound like? Clear nine minutes or so. Enjoy.

2008-04-15T12:19:00.003-04:00

Deep Thought

Osama, I mean B. Hussein Obama is a secret Muslim one-man sleeper cell who attended a madrassa, and is a radical black Christian nationalist with a Marxist pedigree that informs his elitist Socialist worldview.

Except when he's just a n****r.

------------------

Obama + Osama = 327,000 hits
Obama + Hussein = 574,000 hits
Obama + "secret muslim" = 26,800 results
Obama + muslim = 740,000 hits
Obama + madrassa = 177,000 hits
Obama + "sleeper cell" = 79,600 hits
Obama + "radical christian" = 19,100 hits
Obama + nationalist = 253,000 hits
Obama + father + marxist = 314,000 hits
Obama + elitist = 1,030,000 hits
Obama + marxist = 1,090,000 hits
Obama + n****r = 433,000 hits

Disclaimer: Our method of discussing our potential leaders - from the media to the average man on the street - is profoundly fucked up and stupid, especially considering how many people could concurrently believe any number of the smears that if true, would alone exclude the possibility of most of the others above. We're all idiots for watching the sideshow as it rolls through town. Idiots.

Additionally, I feel dirty and a little freaked out that all these searches are going to lead to the Secret Service knocking on my door. Clearly, I think these smears are collectively full of motherfucking shit.